Peace in Letting Go

I cannot imagine where the Lord will take me.
My human brain is exhausted, attempting to list the options, guess the outcomes, estimate God's will.
I finally stopped trying.
The freedom of trusting God is amazing.
To know He's in control, and just submit.
That's all I've ever wanted to do!
That's what my heart yearns.

For the very first time in my life, He has full control.
I literally have nothing that I'm holding on to now.

 no family 

no significant other

 no friendships 

no status

no grades

not even my pets

there's nothing I own that I wouldn't sell 

there's no place I wouldn't leave

no job I wouldn't quit

there's no hobby I wouldn't stop

no holiday I wouldn't miss

no team I wouldn't forsake (even the Cowboys)

I am clay in His hands. 
Christ has literally become the only part of my life that matters to me.
His life, death, resurrection, eternal love, amazing grace.
Anything or anyone else are poor runner ups.
My heart breaks for others. I've cried because of the blind abundance in my life.

You will be with me, and guide me where You need me.
My only desire is to do the work You've prepared for me to do. It's not what I've prepared myself for, but what You've prepared for me.
Not what I want to do, but what You want to accomplish.
God, You've taken away every chain. Send me, Father.

And Lord, I pray that the desire for a family and a husband does return someday, in Your timing.
You emptied me out. It's a scary feeling, being single and content. It's new territory for me to be at peace and to be satisfied. Undivided and focused. All Yours! My God, I pray for my future husband. I pray that You are growing him and pushing him. I pray he's content too, and not feeling lonely. Give him a hug for me tonight.

Tomorrow is the World Race interview.
Wednesday I meet with two pastors.
I have a complete peace about all of it.
I know He's in control.
Today I'm just praising Him. I'm just smiling.