Yesterday I went to Panda Express and they had chicken entrees and shrimp entrees, and then I looked and saw “panda bowl”… I felt so bad, but I ordered it. And let me just warn you, it was totally false advertisement. Aww... ahem I mean phew!
I’ve plotted many ways to get out of a possible ticket, one of which is stabbing my nose with my nail and saying I got a nosebleed.
It always cracks me up when my mother calls my cell phone and I answer “hello” or “oi mae” (Hi mom) and she goes “Helena?” ………… and I try to vary my answers for my own amusement:
- “no, it’s Antonio”
- "no, it’s an alien that has taken Helena hostage”
- “no, this is an answering machine”
- “no, you’ve dialed the wrong number”
- “Helena?” (and then I repeat everything she says after she says it)
- “no, it’s just somebody that sounds a lot like Helena, answering her cell phone to confuse you”
- “nope, guess again!”
- “Mamae?” (and then pretend that I’m confused about who is calling me)
My mom brings me much laughter and opportunity to vent my comedic sarcasm. She usually forgets what she was going to say and it's even funnier.
I have an extensive (and I mean extensive) running list of English sayings that make no sense. This one in particular makes me rather uncomfortable. I was conversing with an American friend about planning and spontaneity. He said “we’ll just fly by the seat of our pants.” I was immediately taken aback. I said “we most definitely will not!” and there was an awkward pause in conversation. America! There will be no spontaneous flying by any part of my pants, thank you very much!
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