Petite Single Woman's Guide to Grocery Shopping

Being a mere 5'1/2" feet short (ha!), petite, single woman has its perks, like... fitting into small spaces, rarely having to duck, and being so close to the ground that tripping can't hurt. On the flip side... there are many struggles I face due to my earthly body, one of which is grocery shopping.

But Why?!

• -I can't reach top shelves (at home or at the store)
• -Carrying the groceries can be somewhat difficult
• -My non-intimidating appearance does me no good in crowded aisles
• -The checkout employee always has to make a comment about my purchases because of my size i.e."wow you can eat all this cereal?"
• -Parking lot safety is always something to keep in mind

Action Plan

If you or a loved one ever have these troubles, follow my simple guide to a stress-free grocery shopping experience for the vertically-challenged female.


Make a careful grocery list

• -Consider the weight of the items you will be purchasing. Would you rather carry a gallon of milk or a carton? Can you carry that many cans of soup? Remember ramen is a practically weightless and affordable alternative.
• -Purchase store brand items, as they are very likely placed on a shelf you can reach.
• -Avoid buying the same item in bulk due to possible cashier harassment. My personal tips: 5 or less cans of tuna, 2 or less tubs of nutella, 2 or less boxes of cereal, 2 or less boxes of popsicles, and my favorite 8 or less cans of soup so you don't have to hear "you like soup, huh?!" Also try to be conscious of the "super packs" of bathroom products, as those will also earn you some raised eyebrows.

Choose your grocery store and parking wisely

• -Be wary that the "cheaper" the store, the more likely you will be raped/mugged/murdered in the parking lot.
• -Park near the front if at all possible.
• -Park near a shopping cart rack.
• -Park AWAY from any car that has creepy people in it.
• -Keep in mind that every time you park at Wal-mart, you are much more likely to die, day or night.
• -Go to a store in the safest part of your neighborhood, if you have a choice. For example, in Temple you go to the HEB on 31st Street and never ever to the "Ghetto HEB" on 25th Street. Choose wisely.
• -When loading groceries, put them in your trunk and leave your car locked while you load them. This will decrease your odds of having a stranger sneak into your car.
• -Also... don't hang out in your car at a grocery store parking lot, especially at night. Get your groceries loaded, lock your doors, and drive off. Don't be dumb or you will get raped. This also applies for gas stations.

When to shop

• -Shop when "old people" are awake. Imagine an old lady, waking up at 5 am and going to bed at a reasonable hour of 9:30 pm. Shopping during that time span is usually safe.
• -Opt for daytime. In my experience, weekday mornings are the best time to avoid crowds.
• -If you must shop when the store is crowded, you may have to park your cart (take your purse!) and go fetch your items when aisles are especially crowded. This is when being petite comes in handy since you can squeeze between carts.

Miscellaneous Tips

• -Consider the weather/lighting.  Don't make huge shopping trips when it's dark. Don't shop when it's pouring rain outside. You don't want to get murdered in the rain. They won't find you.
• -Choose a younger female checkout person if at all possible. Old people take a long time and men usually make snarky unnecessary comments.
• -Avoid creepy people during your entire shopping experience. Don't get in line behind a creeper or they may wait for you outside. I should rephrase that. They WILL wait for you outside.
• -Don't shop when you're hungry lest you compromise your petite frame.
• -Pick a good cart, try to get a smaller one or a basket if you're just shopping for essentials. Beware of squeaky/swervy carts. Test them out or they may outmaneuver you.
• -Practice powerwalking on your own time, as it may save your life.
• -Walk to your car with keys between your knuckles. Always be ready to poke someone's eye out.

I hope this information is helpful to all my petite single women. Be safe and happy shopping! Remember, when you're not big or tall, you have to compensate with planning and strategic paranoia.