Unfiltered

Okay, I've started a blog about 5 times now and literally deleted all of it.
From here on, I will not delete what I write (on this blog)


Today was hard on me. 
Really really stinkin hard. 
This "not gone yet but fixin to be" time is SO ridiculously hard.
I have been praying for God to just provide a nice cave for me for these last 2 months.
Hide me. Put me away haha
Just really hard to wait to go, all the while being treated like I'm about to leave like NOW.
How am I supposed to enjoy 2 months of anything while I'm getting the boot?
Everything is about goodbye. Everything is about leaving.


Problem is... I'm STILL HERE.
2 more months.


Guh. And in 11, I'll be back. 
Until I signed up for this trip, I got the feeling that I wouldn't miss much.
Not much to miss back home. 
Yeah friends, family, mmhmm okay I can still talk to everybody. Not a big deal.


If ever somebody's status could be "extra single" it would be me.
Nobody will be pining back home. I definitely have zero distractions, which was what I wanted in the first place.


All I'm saying is, I need a cave.
Lord, go ahead and hide me for 2 months. 
Then send me out.

Okay that is all :)
Unfiltered.