written December 21, 2004
if i ever come to love you, know this: i love all your flaws as well... your weaknesses may be so bad to you, so relevant, but perhaps if you take them away, you become less amazing, less human. i will never find someone perfect. perfection in my terms implies imperfection. only God knows true perfection, and we all fall short. so dont ever try to change to make someone love you, because they'll see right through you and you'll forget how to be yourself, and that knowledge, once lost, can only be found by reinventing.
i hope to someday find someone that matches a secret list i've written. it seems so silly, so pointless, but this list should define a man that makes me happy. i dont want anybody to ever change to fit this, because if that were to happen, it'd be like cheating. i dont want a man that cheats on himself, cheats on his personality. i want somebody that can be himself and that be enough. is there anybody left that's real or are we all worms awaiting some kind of magical change to fit somebody's profile?
i promise you this: if i love a worm, i'll see a butterfly.
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