Considering Things

I'm such a book nerd that I'll be reading one book and it makes a reference to another book and off I go in a tangent into the other book. I'm currently reading My Name is Memory by Ann Brashares... which is so far very interesting, very fictional, but alas the science fiction love-story historical nerdiness of it is just enough to hook me into page-turning bliss. In it was a Lewis Carroll quote about memory... "it's a poor sort of memory that only works backwards" and I liked this quite a bit. So much that I looked it up... and read the chapter of the book it's from... which so happens to be the sequel to Alice in Wonderland, called Through the Looking Glass. Now you see how nerdy I am? That's nothing. It gets so much worse. Here's a passage from that same chapter that I really liked and wanted to write about :)


'Oh, don't go on like that!' cried the poor Queen, wringing her hands in despair. 'Consider what a great girl you are. Consider what a long way you've come to-day. Consider what o'clock it is. Consider anything, only don't cry!'

Alice could not help laughing at this, even in the midst of her tears. 'Can you keep from crying by considering things?' she asked.

'That's the way it's done,' the Queen said with great decision: 'nobody can do two things at once, you know.'


I get caught focusing on the current situation and I forget to "consider things" :) What a long way I've come. Rather, what a long way God has brought me. What a crazy journey, through which He's refined me. He's put me through the furnace of affliction. He's tested my faith in every direction. I fail to take into consideration the various ways He's delivered me. Some of my most random prayers have been answered beautifully. He gives me a hand, and I want the arm. I scream "NEXT!" I'm the drive-thru person in "Dude where's my car" saying "and then" over and over to God and to others :/ NO AND THEN!

I am more than thankful for what He's given me. I need to rejoice in this current state of bliss, and reflect on how wonderfully merciful my God has been to me and my fearful heart.  This reaction of jumping on to the next expectation is obviously a reflex to my being very very fearful. Bear with me. I'm very confident as a person, because I'm very confident in my God, who carries me! But I've never been down this road before. I've never felt like this in my entire life. It's a very new territory, it's frankly breath-takingly beautiful. It's also big. It's epic. It's deep. It's very real. The fact I'm in it glorifies God. But wow. I have to keep reassuring myself that God would not start a good work in my life and not follow through. God always follows through. That He wouldn't bring me here were it not for a bigger purpose. The loving God who formed my heart with His hands would not let it break beyond repair. Man, that's a lot of trust.

Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it! Take also my future, and my hopes, and my goals, and my dreams. Sort through it, I know it's a mess. I tried to put some post-its and I highlighted some of it, so it stands out to You, but honestly only You know what's really important and what will come through. Do with my life what You will. Take me to where You need me. In every part, good or bad, let me give You praise.

What I want, at the end of this day/week/month/life, is to be that woman that loves Jesus more than anything else. Prepare me to be that woman that is worth more than rubies! A woman that brings good, not harm, all the days of her life. When You deem me ready, Lord, You'll bring me to the next step. No more "and then," just a patient, thankful heart is all I want for today.

So this is my lesson in contentment, patience, and the art of considering things.

Consider anything, only don't cry!