Okay, I've started a blog about 5 times now and literally deleted all of it.
From here on, I will not delete what I write (on this blog)
Today was hard on me.
Really really stinkin hard.
This "not gone yet but fixin to be" time is SO ridiculously hard.
I have been praying for God to just provide a nice cave for me for these last 2 months.
Hide me. Put me away haha
Just really hard to wait to go, all the while being treated like I'm about to leave like NOW.
How am I supposed to enjoy 2 months of anything while I'm getting the boot?
Everything is about goodbye. Everything is about leaving.
Problem is... I'm STILL HERE.
2 more months.
Guh. And in 11, I'll be back.
Until I signed up for this trip, I got the feeling that I wouldn't miss much.
Not much to miss back home.
Yeah friends, family, mmhmm okay I can still talk to everybody. Not a big deal.
If ever somebody's status could be "extra single" it would be me.
Nobody will be pining back home. I definitely have zero distractions, which was what I wanted in the first place.
All I'm saying is, I need a cave.
Lord, go ahead and hide me for 2 months.
Then send me out.
Okay that is all :)
Unfiltered.
Friday, November 11, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
Spoiled
I feel so spoiled.
I'm supposed to be having a hard time having less stuff, right?
All my belongings literally fit inside my car.
Yet I am sitting here at Starbucks, with the biggest grin on my face, thinking
"I am the luckiest girl in the world"
How can it be?
Well I have the coolest Daddy ever, to start things off.
No, not my earthly Daddy (he's pretty cool) but my perfect, all-powerful Daddy in Heaven. My Creator and sustainer.
The One who calls me to rise in the morning and looks at me like I'm the most lovely thing and says "this is very good" :)
He says "hey I have something for you to do!!" and I jump for joy.
Yes, I'll sell my stuff, here we go. Okay what now, Lord?
And He tells me to love on my brothers and sisters.
Encourage the ones who are quieter.
Empower the men.
Call out the beauty in my sisters.
Okay awesome.
I walked into Starbucks today, expecting to get a Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino (which is my SECOND favorite drink)
Last year around this time of the year, I was a REGULAR here at this Starbucks.
They knew my name, they knew my order, they recognized my voice over the drive-thru. I made a lot of friends in green aprons :) My friends also controlled my coffee, so you can imagine the "special treatment" I'd get when I ordered my all-time favorite, the Caramel Brulee Frappuccino. The candy bits? The good stuff? Oh yeah, it was ridiculous the amount of candy they put in my drink. Heck, they've even given me a whole bottle of the candy bits before.
Sadly this drink is no longer on the menu, so that's why I expected to get the Salted Caramel Mocha, still amazing. Still would have been the ultimate treat because superfluous spending went right out the window for me.
Well I am greeted with "HEEEEEY YOUUUU!!!" and familiar faces peeking at me from behind the counter. Two of my friends, making a scene, and delighted to inform me that they have the ingredients and the syrups and the crazy awesome candy bits to make *dun dun dun*
I got to share with the girls about my mission trip, and they were excited to hear about it.
So I'm sitting here, grinning from ear to ear, reading James, listening to The Civil Wars, Ray LaMontagne, Glen Hansard, & Gungor, having such a wonderful day in my life.
I've gotten to visit with the Community Groups at my church, and tonight I'm visiting another one! I've been communicating well with people.
My to-do list is still ridiculously long, but when is it not?
My day is beautiful. I got to watch the sunset and hear a new worship song on the radio that made me smile. It said "there's no place like home" :)
The perfect words for a missionary who hasn't left home yet. Yearning to leave, but realizing that today is such a blessing. I am one spoiled daughter of God.
Thank You Lord.
Here's that song, enjoy it <3
I'm supposed to be having a hard time having less stuff, right?
All my belongings literally fit inside my car.
Yet I am sitting here at Starbucks, with the biggest grin on my face, thinking
"I am the luckiest girl in the world"
How can it be?
Well I have the coolest Daddy ever, to start things off.
No, not my earthly Daddy (he's pretty cool) but my perfect, all-powerful Daddy in Heaven. My Creator and sustainer.
The One who calls me to rise in the morning and looks at me like I'm the most lovely thing and says "this is very good" :)
He says "hey I have something for you to do!!" and I jump for joy.
Yes, I'll sell my stuff, here we go. Okay what now, Lord?
And He tells me to love on my brothers and sisters.
Encourage the ones who are quieter.
Empower the men.
Call out the beauty in my sisters.
Okay awesome.
I walked into Starbucks today, expecting to get a Salted Caramel Mocha Frappuccino (which is my SECOND favorite drink)
Last year around this time of the year, I was a REGULAR here at this Starbucks.
They knew my name, they knew my order, they recognized my voice over the drive-thru. I made a lot of friends in green aprons :) My friends also controlled my coffee, so you can imagine the "special treatment" I'd get when I ordered my all-time favorite, the Caramel Brulee Frappuccino. The candy bits? The good stuff? Oh yeah, it was ridiculous the amount of candy they put in my drink. Heck, they've even given me a whole bottle of the candy bits before.
Sadly this drink is no longer on the menu, so that's why I expected to get the Salted Caramel Mocha, still amazing. Still would have been the ultimate treat because superfluous spending went right out the window for me.
Well I am greeted with "HEEEEEY YOUUUU!!!" and familiar faces peeking at me from behind the counter. Two of my friends, making a scene, and delighted to inform me that they have the ingredients and the syrups and the crazy awesome candy bits to make *dun dun dun*
The CARAMEL BRULEE FRAPPUCCINO!!!!!
I got to share with the girls about my mission trip, and they were excited to hear about it.
So I'm sitting here, grinning from ear to ear, reading James, listening to The Civil Wars, Ray LaMontagne, Glen Hansard, & Gungor, having such a wonderful day in my life.
I've gotten to visit with the Community Groups at my church, and tonight I'm visiting another one! I've been communicating well with people.
My to-do list is still ridiculously long, but when is it not?
My day is beautiful. I got to watch the sunset and hear a new worship song on the radio that made me smile. It said "there's no place like home" :)
The perfect words for a missionary who hasn't left home yet. Yearning to leave, but realizing that today is such a blessing. I am one spoiled daughter of God.
Thank You Lord.
Here's that song, enjoy it <3
Friday, November 4, 2011
When it rains...
IT POURS!!!!!
I am so incredibly overwhelmed with joy today. Holy Lord Almighty and Good!
Allow me to count these blessings!! Let's stick with chronological order, because I'm not facebook :)
1) woke up on time & got ready in peace (trust me, such a blessing)
2) watched the SUNRISE as I drove to work
3) got to sing my current favorite song because it came on the radio "Times" by Tenth Avenue North
4) put in my notice at work that I'll be quitting on dec 9 and it was well-received! *PRRRAAAISE*
5) oh oh and I got my launch date, no big deal. I'm LEAVING ON JANUARY 10TH :)
6) My aunt and grandma are here from Brazil! I get to see them and visit with them for a whole week!
7) I am getting to see a lot of amazing people this weekend. Halleluyerrrrr
8) I am getting to baptize one of my best friends. What a joy what a joy.
9) I realize that I fall deeper and deeper in love with Jesus like... every single day.
10) It's Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday... and now it's weekend time :)
If I kept going, I'd waste my weekend in front of a screen.
I love you, reader!
God bless you :)
I am so incredibly overwhelmed with joy today. Holy Lord Almighty and Good!
Allow me to count these blessings!! Let's stick with chronological order, because I'm not facebook :)
1) woke up on time & got ready in peace (trust me, such a blessing)
2) watched the SUNRISE as I drove to work
3) got to sing my current favorite song because it came on the radio "Times" by Tenth Avenue North
4) put in my notice at work that I'll be quitting on dec 9 and it was well-received! *PRRRAAAISE*
5) oh oh and I got my launch date, no big deal. I'm LEAVING ON JANUARY 10TH :)
6) My aunt and grandma are here from Brazil! I get to see them and visit with them for a whole week!
7) I am getting to see a lot of amazing people this weekend. Halleluyerrrrr
8) I am getting to baptize one of my best friends. What a joy what a joy.
9) I realize that I fall deeper and deeper in love with Jesus like... every single day.
10) It's Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday... and now it's weekend time :)
If I kept going, I'd waste my weekend in front of a screen.
I love you, reader!
God bless you :)
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
random writing :)
I have reverse writer's block tonight, which consists of my brain being too jumbled to write due to too many ideas.
It's actually kind of miserable. I wish it upon no one.
I wanted to dig up old halloween pictures of myself, and post an album to cover up the fact I didn't dress up or celebrate it at all this year. At 24, I feel like I've passed the age. Most of my friends are dressing up their children. I carved pumpkins with kids. Sure, sure, I've eaten some free candy and laughed at costumes. I enjoyed the day, despite my lack of participation and effort.
If I had dressed up, I would have gone as Jason Terry.
Celebrating the Mavs even now :) dressing up as the Jet!! It would have been pretty simple too, just a jersey, headband, and high socks, and do the JET thing around lol easy peasy :)
Okay I am going to bed because if I don't seize this moment I will stay up for another 2 hours.
Here's a lovely verse, xanga style.
"From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised."
-Psalm 113:3
ps. when I used to write my very first blog, xanga, it followed this format "rambling rambling, more rambling... the Word of God" no matter how short, how random, or how unrelated, I usually ended my blogs with a verse :) Makes me happy to look back.
But now, I find myself even happier looking forward and directly in front of me.
Thank You God, my portion.
It's actually kind of miserable. I wish it upon no one.
I wanted to dig up old halloween pictures of myself, and post an album to cover up the fact I didn't dress up or celebrate it at all this year. At 24, I feel like I've passed the age. Most of my friends are dressing up their children. I carved pumpkins with kids. Sure, sure, I've eaten some free candy and laughed at costumes. I enjoyed the day, despite my lack of participation and effort.
If I had dressed up, I would have gone as Jason Terry.
Celebrating the Mavs even now :) dressing up as the Jet!! It would have been pretty simple too, just a jersey, headband, and high socks, and do the JET thing around lol easy peasy :)
Okay I am going to bed because if I don't seize this moment I will stay up for another 2 hours.
Here's a lovely verse, xanga style.
"From the rising of the sun to the place where it sets,
the name of the LORD is to be praised."
-Psalm 113:3
ps. when I used to write my very first blog, xanga, it followed this format "rambling rambling, more rambling... the Word of God" no matter how short, how random, or how unrelated, I usually ended my blogs with a verse :) Makes me happy to look back.
But now, I find myself even happier looking forward and directly in front of me.
Thank You God, my portion.
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