Tentative Christmas Wish List

Christmas is just around the corner...well it's around the corner, and then you have to walk about a mile, to the left... but who cares about specifics, right? Christmas is coming.

I thought it'd be fun to write my tentative wish list!

Before I get started, I want to emphasize that 1) my love language is physical touch, not gifts, so I'd much rather have a hug and a visit than stuff. 2) I can fit all my belongings in my car (and I'm glad) so don't judge me!

Ahem.

1) E-reader, preferably a Nook (and my mom is giving me hers that she never uses, so CHECK!)
2) A straightener to tame the mane (mine died in April, sad sad day!).
3) A gun. It's just weird not to own something I can shoot with... I sold my shotgun before the trip.
4) Mascara.
5) A new case for my phone, because the one I have now is torn to shreds because I fiddle with it too much.
6) Car insurance ahahaha.
7) Unlimited Starbucks would be nice... but heaven will have fountains of salted caramel frappuccino.
8) A job would be awesome. A fax from Jesus with my 2-year plan would be even more awesome!
9) Acceptance letter from grad school would be supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!
10) An external hard drive.
11) A cat? No... I can't have a cat. But pray that I can have a cat soon.

Okay that's all I have :) Making this list was probably more for my benefit, but I guess it's alright once in a while to blog like this, eh? Gives you a glimpse into my brain.

Thanks for stopping by and you stay classy! 

25 Lessons I've Learned in 25 Years

Simple and straight-forward enough. I just had my quarter century birthday on the 12th of April :) I'm aging remarkably slowly, so I'm not overly concerned.

Here are 25 extremely random things I've learned, illogically ordered.

1) There is nothing that I need that God has not already provided.

2) The food I despised the most, I now like: bananas. So anything can change :) 

3) Hammocks are the most efficient furnishing.

4) There is a "right way" to eat a mango without a knife.

5) The fetal position is the safest way to roll down a mountain.

6) All eyes are on you when you stumble, so get ready to preach in the pit.

7) Laughter really is the best medicine. Joy heals. Praise binds wounds.

8) God actively restores. Just look at me!

9) The only way to practice patience is to wait. It is easier to wait with headphones on, though ;)

10) It is hella hard to ignore cute puppies wrestling.

11) Cats can talk. 

12) The sixth love language is chocolate.

13) Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Oh the truth in that.

14) There are 2 kinds of people: those who bring you closer to God, and those who don't. Look at where you are, and then look at who's around you. It's not a coincidence!

15) Joy is a gift from God. No one or nothing can take it away unless you allow it.

16) There is a reason for the season. God brings us through hardships intentionally. Grow.

17) Asians don't speak Spanish, no matter how hard you try!

18) I don't have to understand something in order for it to be right.

19) Ladies: never start or end a relationship on the day before your period starts. Shoot, don't leave the house. Don't use your phone. What a wretched day!

20) Fountains are upside-down water falls. (I'm so deep!)

21) Never fall in love with a crazy person. Here's my how to blog.

22) Killing a scorpion is easier than it seems.

23) Cesteiro que faz um cesto faz um cento. Means a basket-maker who makes one basket can make 100 baskets, so if someone was able to do something one time, they have the ability to do it again and again. Careful with the basket-makers. 

24) If you know what you want, by all means, go for it. Love in action! Be brave!

25) It's not about me. It's really really not about me!

Numbers: come to your census

I thought having Leviticus punch me in the gut was bad…

I moved on to Numbers, thinking, “surely I won’t learn much here”

But again, I was schooled.

God loves numbers. He loves counting. He loves measuring. God is super good at math. I think it’s safe to say God did whisper to me the answers in Calculus when I prayed those desperate prayers before tests. 

God promises to rescue us, a lot. 

Oh and God loves to party. He likes it when we have fun, aka rejoice. 

God also loved rules back when… phew. Lots of special rules and hoops to jump through, and He made sure to communicate allllllllll of them to Moses. 

Reading Numbers, I learned a lot. I learned that I should never beat a donkey. I also learned that if a donkey ever speaks reason into me, I’m probably the one acting like a… ahem… donkey. And that people who beat donkeys end up dying by sword wound a few chapters later. 

I learned that God hates it when we reject His plan for us, especially over food preferences. I definitely had a peanut butter heart check.

God says “I am giving you the service of ____________ as a gift” in Chapter 18… serving God is a God-given gift! Thank You, Lord, for redundancy and grace!

Back in the day, God solved impatience with venomous snakes. Thank You Jesus, for sparing me from the snakes. 

I learned that one does not simply walk into Edom. If you get this reference, you are a very special breed and I love you so much. 

God loves musicals… People are always bursting into song in the Bible, even in the most random places. It adds to my amusement when I sing the songs in my own weird way. (Sidenote: if I’m reading a book by a British author, I read it with a Brit accent in my head [I kid you not!] and you should have seen me smiling while reading a book by KP Yohannan, who is from India, because [yep, you guessed it] I read it with an Indian accent in my head. I should probably add the note here that when the donkey spoke in Chapter 22, I read it with the same accent as the donkey in Shrek… and it was super funny.) I should probably make a video of me singing the Song of Moses hahaha I am ridiculous sometimes, I do acknowledge this. I think it makes Jesus laugh, so I keep on :]

So Moses and Aaron screw up big time. They disobey God and lose out on the promise land. Total bummer. 

Miriam gets leprosy for a week because she ran her mouth. Seriously, guys, we should be SO thankful for Christ. Can you imagine getting leprosy for talking some smack? We would go bananas.

Then in the end of Numbers, God has the Israelites run another census after the plagues and the battles and the epic sinner smite-a-thon that took place. 

They count all the people, they count lots of gold. 

I, in turn, counted my blessings.

Bible-In-A-Year Discipline

 (((((disclaimer, I'm already over halfway in Numbers, but when I wrote this, I was still in Leviticus!!)))))

Yeah okay so sometimes I just straight-up don’t feel like reading Leviticus.
I’m weird enough that I do have times when I enjoy it and crave it. I crave the weirdness and the awkward laws. I want to hear about the sprinkling blood and the fat wave offerings and how they determined if somebody was “unclean” from an infectious skin disease.

I’m not legalistic enough to feel bad if I don’t read the 3 or so chapters of LEVITICUS every single day, just because it’s on my reading list.
I’m reading the Bible chronologically, and I gotta be honest, with travel days and crazy outings and brand new ministries left and right… I’m behind.
I’m supposed to start Numbers today. I still have 13 chapters left in Leviticus.
Have I read every single day? You bet. I love it. But sometimes I need different food. Something other than Leviticus. Sometimes I need Micah, or Philippians. Sometimes I need Isaiah, or Jude.

We as Christians get really really down on ourselves when we set goals and don’t pull through. I want to encourage anybody who’s on any kind of “schedule” Bible reading plan, whether it was a New Year resolution or a random whim of zealous obedience. If you get behind, chin up. Enjoy God’s word. It’s not homework. It’s not a chore. It is such a gift and privilege to be able to read the Word of God.
The minute you catch yourself panicking or dreading the scheduled reading, you need a heart check.

Why are you reading?
To know God more. To have God reveal Himself to you in a new way.

I can tell you a few reasons why you’re not reading…
You’re not reading to earn Pharisee points.
You’re not reading to prove to God (or yourself) how disciplined you are. Let’s get real. He knows how many hairs are on your head. He knows you fall short, so there’s no point kidding yourself there.
You’re not reading to memorize the entire Bible, unless you want to be like Denzel in The Book of Eli. Good luck if you are, praying for you when you get to Leviticus, just saying.
You’re not reading the WORD OF GOD because you HAVE TO.
Ironically, if you do read the Word of God, you realize that there’s nothing that you have to do besides have faith in Christ.
Everything you do now is in response to the love in your heart. Yes, this includes seeking God’s face.

Seek His face. Seek it in song. Seek it in prayer. Seek it in the Word.

If you get behind on your readings, there’s lots and lots of grace. You don’t suck as a Christian because you’re reading chapter 14 instead of chapter 27. Daddy knows your heart.
Have the discipline to seek His face. Chin up when your reading plans don’t match up to reality.

God doesn’t love you any extra when you go through checklists and have a productive day than He does when you have a hard, distracting day and get behind the schedule.

The most important thing is to seek His face. Ask for His presence no matter what the circumstances. I can assure you, there’s plenty of grace.
Christians are the most victorious, joyous, hopeful people alive.
We are guaranteed eternal bliss.
There is no reason for a child of God to ever feel defeated.

Your Daddy in Heaven is proud of you because you have the righteousness of Christ, not because you managed to read 3 chapters a day. God’s unconditional love for you is not wagered on your performance.
Thank God  for that, because we fall so short.
Thank You God for grace, for bearing with us, and for Leviticus!

And here is a cheesy high school senior picture of me with my Bible, for comedic purposes! Enjoy hahaha!!!

Honor

Greetings, faithful followers!
It is I, again, Helena.
Surprised? I hope not. I'm feeling a bit kooky tonight, hence my random babble. Ahem.
I wanted to write a serious blog about the situaysh here in El Salvador.
It is official that I'm pretty much the translator all the time. My brain doth hurteth from thinking so hard... all the time. I did consider having a jibber jabber day where I just translate nonsensical words, but I figured since I'm constantly translating sermons and testimonies, it wouldn't fly. It would be funny to take a main repetitive word out of the sermon, and just sub it with "pupusa" and see how it goes. "The Lord wants to have a pupusa with you. You don't have to work for this, God loves you and wants you to have a pupusa with Him." ahh sacrilege smackrilege. I realize that in a room full of people, nobody would understand how funny that would be unless they spoke both English AND Spanish... so I'd be laughing alone... as always.

A pupusa, by the way, is a tortilla filled with beans and cheese, and sometimes meat. It is pretty much what is eaten in El Salvador for breakfast and dinner. Funny fact: it is considered crazy and very weird to eat pupusas for LUNCH. They're okay for breakfast and dinner, but lunch? Not a chance. What are we, obsessed with them or something? What message would that send to the children? El Salvador believes in balance and moderation. Pupusas are good for 2/3 meals only.


Another thing I feel special and odd about, which is the original intent of this blog (ahh now I'm gettin' round to it!) is the missionary table.
This thing happens to us, and it's humbling and odd in equal parts.
We are received as special honored guests everywhere we go. We go to preach somewhere, or to do kids ministry, or to share testimonies, and after we do so.... people clear out, chairs get moved and stacked, and out of nowhere 2 tables show up, and we are served a meal right then and there where we were just preaching. Often literally where we were preaching. The meal is prepared especially for us. We are the only ones eating that food while everybody else kinda watches. They pour us beverages and assorted juices (today's juice was cantaloupe, delicious) and serve us either different food (better food) than everyone else gets, or we are the only ones fed, right in the middle of the action.

perfect example... notice the children bystanders

To them it is an HONOR to feed us. An HONOR to host us. They fill us to the brim, then somebody announces they'd like the honor of having us in their home for coffee and cookies. So we go, and sing praise songs in their home and pray over them, and get fed cookies and coffee with so much affection. It's like they see Jesus when they look at us, and they want to bless us as much as possible. God is watching all this, with a huge smile on His face. They get it. They really get it. "Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto Me." and they do... they do a lot. They seize the blessing to serve us. 

We had a lady lead us into the woods with a machete, chopping down HUGE wild flowers and giving them to us. She led us through her corn fields and to a place we could swim. She then fed us corn with lime and salt (best new way to eat corn, sorry butter) and gave us little chubby bananas.... which I must admit tasted really really good.

<<sidenote: I hate bananas. I know, I know, how can I call myself Brazilian and hate bananas? That's preposterous... so I took on a challenge: eat a banana in every country, see if I can conquer this tastebud debacle... El Salvador bananas are... gooey but good.>> 


I hope that if I can take anything from this month it is this: what an HONOR to serve those who serve the Lord. To open up a home, to serve a meal, to encourage them. What an HONOR that is to these people, and to God's people. It humbles me every single day. Their kids give us candy. Are you serious?!!! I was raised pretty well, but you couldn't get me to give any candy to strangers. No way, Jose! Even their kiddos know that giving is a blessing to seize. What an HONOR to be in El Salvador, serving them and being served even more.

Anxiously Confident

I'm a jumbly mess of awesome feelings.
Today we got to do ministry with kiddos and it was precious. I wouldn't have minded taking 3 or 4 of them with me for good. I got to watch them destroy a pinata and chase after our truck. I made my first balloon animal, and it looked nearly unrecognizable but little Avi seemed pleased with the dog balloon. Let's just say there is room for improvement ;]
Here's a pic from this morning, with a few kiddos!

Then we went to do door-to-door ministry, and it was tough. Hands-down everybody's favorite.... pause NOT! I don't mind speaking Spanish, but today it felt like my brain was fighting it. I was fishing for words like craaaazy, couldn't seem to get my words right. I kept speaking Portuguese.... kinda funny thinking back to it :) but not at the time! The lady we went with would say "hello brother/sister, this here is a missionary and she has a word for you!" and then everyone would turn and look at me expectantly. No pressure! It's aight, I mean God put me here and if I weren't ready for this, it wouldn't have happened. From my teammate's perspective, I did well. His encouragement really perked me up. Thank the Lord that our translator isn't sick anymore, so I can back off the Spanish crash course a little tiny bit! Phew!

Worked with the youth tonight, and they are so sweet. We sat around for  a while and talked, mostly about movies. We did a lot of quoting Monty Python... well Caitlin and I quoted Monty Python, while everybody else stared awkwardly hahaha oh well majority of people either haven't seen the movies or don't get why they're funny. I praise the Lord for my random crazy sense of humor. I refuse to compromise it lol.

After much troubleshooting, the youth group watched a super random movie in Spanish about a guy who falls away from the Lord and into a life of debauchery and illicit drug usage... then, when a drug deal goes bad (don't they always?!), he gets shot, then paralyzed, then he rehabs his way into walking again and renounces his old sinful ways, and shares a pitcher of koolaid with his younger sibling! Outstanding acting and cinematography for a late 80's movie, let me tell you! Very touching, despite the overdose of acid wash jeans/jeggings. My teammate appreciated my random English dubbing skills, she was laughing pretty hard. "No, I'm sorry, your hair is too big!" "but I'm a great influence on you!" "okay, I'll date you...but I'm not buying you jewelry!" "deal."

We climbed back in the van and I successfully smashed my left big toe with a metal folding seat. It's no longer numb but it is swelling. I'm glad my nail polish is purple, because I don't want to know what it looks like underneath my nail. I'm happy to report I took it like a man.

We went to a pizzeria and ate a ton. We even made a song for Travis, who is like a bottomless pit when it comes to eating. We took a JDH song that goes "You are an endless ocean, a bottomless sea.... there's no end to the affection You have for me" and turned it into "you have an endless stomach, a bottomless pit, there's no end to your intestines, travis lee!" haha just appreciate that. Really. Appreciate that, because it's humor at its best.

Then..... we got home and there was an iguana stuck in the pastor's truck's dashboard. Yes, iguana #2. Here's a pic of iguana #1, rip, ex-boyfriend!

Totally normal and predictable World Race business. I mean, who has a normal life anymore? So I got to film the retrieval of tomorrow's lunch meat, and then hold the thing by the tail. CRAY CRAY! I will hopefully get to eat iguana for lunch tomorrow...

I got to kill lots of bugs today, also, which makes me happy.



I got to see my D squad girls on Skype tonight! Amanda and Brittany just bring joy to my heart. It was therapeutic to see their smiling faces and hear their voices. I am so encouraged.

I'm making my way through Acts. I started yesterday and I'm hoping to finish tomorrow. It just sheds new light to be on a mission trip, reading Acts all the way through. I'm pumped for all the growth in the Word this year. Epic growth.

So that's my day... my crazy Saturday... I find myself anxiously confident, bringing my requests to my Daddy in Heaven and finding an overwhelming peace within me about the plans He has for me. His timing and His sovereignty are perfect. His mercies are new every morning.

HOW TO ELEVATE ELEVATOR AWKWARDNESS

I am nodding fiercely. This post has been brewing, boiling within me and it's finally here.
Enjoy the complimentary elevator music whilst you read, courtesy of authentic Brazilian jazz.

Ladies and Non-ladies,
I present to you a masterpiece. Thorough research conducted by me (I'm a scientist, I can do that) has led me to the threshold of awkwardness and personal discomfort.


WHY? WHY BE WEIRD IN AN ELEVATOR?
Elevators are ALWAYS weird. Gandhi said "Be the change you wish to see in the world"... I say "Be the awkwardness you wish to see in the elevator."

DON'T WAIT FOR IT
You don't have to wait until you're inside the elevator. Turn the awkwardness on before you're ever inside it.

Go for the same button, at the same time, but hang back a little, so they go for it and then you really go for it, like you're competing.

 - If you win... congratulations. You should say something along the lines of "yeah I always have to push the button." or "oh you'll get it next time"
- If you lose, you gotta congratulate your opponent. "Wow. I've never not pushed the button before, I guess congratulations" and look really shocked. Then ask what floor they're going to and if you can push their floor button for them once inside the elevator. Say "it's only fair."

Button Bonus - if you're in a middle floor, push the up and the down. Double winning.

One elevator - STARE STRAIGHT AT THE DOORS!!!!

Multiple elevators - Stare at every elevator door, in paranoia, and ask them "WHICH ONE IS IT GONNA BE? WHICH ONE?"

Ask people if they're lost while they're waiting for an elevator. That NEVER gets old.

IT'S HERE!!
This is when you really gotta move quickly.

STAND RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE DOORS. Your nose should practically be touching the doors. It'll not only be super awkward for the people you're waiting with, it'll also make for a really weird moment for the people trying to exit.

YOU'RE IN
Okay there are a lot of avenues you can take here. Consider these options.

Pushing every button is overdone, but that's up to you (or down to you). You can say that it minimizes the risk of getting stuck between floors. You can say your aunt had a baby in an elevator when it was stuck. Then ask if anybody in the elevator is pregnant.

Be Nicolas Cage. You guard the doors and you guard the buttons, as if it was a national emergency. "Everybody stay calm, have no fear, I am here. What floor do you need? I will get you there as safely as possible"  And really really overdo it when you're guarding the door open while people are exiting. Stand in front of the doors, and hug them. Say things like "you're safe now! Go go go!"


Be the fickle floor person. Ask someone to push a button, but then go "ahhh wait that's not it. Um let me think" and milk it for all it's worth. Then be fickle getting out of the elevator!  Get out then go "oh no no that's not the right floor, I'm sorry!" and run back into the elevator. Everybody's done it before, but not on purpose :) Repeat as needed.

Sharing is caring. Share a lot of personal details with the complete strangers in your elevator. Talk about relationships, or your morning routine. Ask for advice, as quickly as possible. Great way to max out the awkward factor.

Now, for inspiration, here are some funny awkward elevator pictures! Enjoy!

11 Perks of Being Single

Okay okay okay okay.... here it is. Goofy blog has been requested. This was the original intent a while back, but it turned into all-out seriousness. We've covered how serious it is, now it's time to have a bit of fun with it, eh?

11 PERKS OF BEING SINGLE

1) eating my weight in candy without the "oh no, she's gonna let herself go" flash of panic in the eyes of my beholder. I run marathons, come on!

2) don't have to share my candy

3) I can still cuddle! With pets! 

4) watching chick flicks and kid movies without protest

5) it's fun to analyze cryptic comments from the opposite sex about my organs... it's like trying to understand batman language
 









6) no false expectations of flowers on my birthday

7) nobody is being ditched when the girls hang out and get crazy.

8) having "Someone Like You" moments is totally okay

9) I have a weird sense of humor, so no sense of humor disagreements. ie this to me is hilarious, most people don't get it.

 
10) skype dates wif mah TwitterTwin... well that ain't gonna change regardless, but it's a current perk!

11) trusting God with everything and being refined for what's to come.

Ninjas don't get manicures

I haven't gotten a manicure in months. I said goodbye to my nail guy, Tom (that's his american name) back in August. I miss Tom. He always gave me the cousin discount, because he said my last name was just Dao, like his, and we were cousins. I learned how to say "God bless you" "hi" "goodbye" "how are you? I'm fine" in Vietnamese :) I got to share about Christ with Tom, and Tom would encourage me by saying sweet things like "you have boyfriend? no? then I'm lucky man to hold your hand" and he would write random symbols on my hand with oil to bless me after he did my nails. It was a great, wholesome experience. 

I said bye to Tom because God opened my eyes about how super duper selfish I was being with my money. I spent easily over $150 monthly with things that were related to my outside upkeep, when others didn't even have food. I repented.


Fast forward 4 months, and I'm in Brazil. Here it costs roughly 7 American bucks to get a mani and a pedi. My sweet cousin decided to give me a treat. It was more of a family intervention. I have a typical Brazilian family, with very great-looking ladies. They all have their nails done, and they all look 15 years younger than they are :)


So my cousin sent me to the beauty parlor and paid for me to get a mani and pedi. 
The nail lady kept making "tut tut tut tut tut" sounds when she was cutting my cuticles, and cried out "ohhh mercy" when she saw my feet. I had to laugh. It's so not that big of a deal to me anymore. My feet are still so cute and clean and little, yet "oh mercy!" was all the lady could say.


Here's the hardest part:
I look down and I have a really cute manicure. It's stressful trying not to completely ruin it. It seems inevitable. I am really rough. I lift heavy things with eagerness. I fish for keys with cat-like reflexes. I like to bring down the fist of justice when I see a bug trespassing in a 2-foot radius. I become a small hurricane of orderly chaos when doing house chores. Judo chopping is part of my daily moves. I get dressed very efficiently and quickly, zipping, snapping, pulling what I need to.

My nails will get ruined in a matter of hours. They're doomed.


It's awesome to see how different I already am in 4 months. I have forgotten how to not destroy a manicure. Something that was part of me now feels foreign. I am so unattached to these things that used to define me. I thought it was just an inner stumbling block, having only to do with how I'm perceived by others, but there's more! I didn't realize how much they hindered my agility and ninja moves.

I used to think that my worth, beauty, and identity had partially to do with my nails. I've been assured, during this time of abounding growth, that the only nails that define me are the ones which held my Savior to the cross.


I still feel lovely without all the frills, and I'm practically a ninja.


Thank You, Jesus, for Your nails, and for the freedom.

My take on Ruth

I thought being called “sister” and “friend” was bad!

Imagine being a single or widowed (or divorced in my case) and having your contender call you “my daughter.”

Oh no you didn’t!

I gotta say, there’s something fishy about how it all went down. You see for yourself, so here's my take:

Naomi had a husband, two sons, and two daughters-in-law (Ruth and Orpah). All the men died. She was left with Ruth and Orpah, and Orpah went back to her land. And then there were two: Naomi and Ruth. Naomi tried to tell Ruth to go back to her land, but Ruth refused and said some strong words along the lines of "I will die where you die, and may the Lord deal with me severely if anything but death separates you and me." (and my editor's brain thought "it's 'you and I,' Ruth!")
So to Bethlehem they went, and it was harvest-time.

Upon arrival, Naomi tried unsuccessfully to change her name to "Mara" which means bitter. Everybody still called her Naomi.

Ruth started going to Boaz’s fields and gathering whatever the harvesters left behind. The Boaz arrived and said “hey you can hang out with my servant girls… I told all the men they couldn’t rape you… if you get thirsty, you can get a drink from the water jars, over there.” Ruth bowed down, all grateful, and asked him why he was being so nice. He said he heard that she was taking care of her mother-in-law, and said all kinds of nice blessings over her and invited her to have dinner with the harvesters. Then he told the harvesters to leave some stalks behind so she gets more food. She wound up with 22 liters of barley, and managed to carry it home to Naomi. How did she carry this home? Beast mode!

Then Naomi said “Oh yeah, I know Boaz, we’re kinda related!”

Now the story gets a little PG13. Naomi told Ruth to bring sexy back, get all hotsy, and go to the barley threshing floor, where Boaz was gonna be. She was wearing her finest clothes, and she put on all her sexy Victoria’s Secret lotions. I was smiling, picturing Ruth in total prom garb. I bet her sleeves were real big.

I like your sleeves...

So she made her way to this grainy place, watched as he ate, knocked back a few, and went to sleep. Then she uncovered his feet? (not sure what this signifies… will google it later… it’s probably dirty… nevermind, I don’t wanna know!) Then Ruth laid down by his feet.

Boaz woke up in the middle of the night, because something startled him. I think either a) Ruth was snoring or b) Ruth threw something to make a huge noise. I would have thrown a chicken or something.

I noticed that it didn’t say he had to wake her up. He just woke up and found a woman lying at his feet. Like heeeey.

This is a recipe for disaster!

 I know it would not have gone well had Boaz not been calling her “my daughter” and been a strong man of God.

Ruth must have looked so good that she looked NOTHING like her usual self. Dang girl.

 “WHO ARE YOU???” – Boaz

What was she supposed to say? “oh hey there, I just happen to look super fancy tonight, to come here to this threshing floor of barley. Oh and I smell awesome! And here you are, all sleepy and tipsy, and I’m laying at your feet. What are the odds!”

But instead, Ruth (so smooth) said “I’m Ruth. I just so happen to be totally available and you can marry me.” Very subtle. Way to go, Ruth.

Then he calls her “my daughter” AGAIN and says “I noticed you’re not a man-chaser or a gold-digging hoochie mama. I’m gonna tell all the guys you’re super classy. Hang out here for a while, and I know a guy who is next in line to marry you. If he doesn’t put a ring on it, then I’ll put a ring on it. And here’s some barley!”

That is so weird. I’m laughing at her “walk of shame” back home, holding a ton of barley.

Naomi must have been pacing all night, in walks disheveled, slept-on-the-floor-in-my-prom-dress Ruth. Naomi’s all “sooooooo???” and she’s like “well here’s some barley, ma, and um” *wipes her runny mascara* “he’s gonna talk to another guy first, and if that guy doesn’t want me, then I’ll be Mrs. Boaz.”

Comforting.

On to Chapter 4, (oh and thanks, Bible, for total spoiler title of Chapter 4 “Boaz Marries Ruth”. I mean, I already knew the ending, but what if I didn’t?!) I thought Boaz was being sneaky talking about the land first, then bringing up the widow later. But the kinsman was like “Sure I’ll take the land!” and Boaz said “Oh yeah, btw you get a lady with it!” and kinsman goes “Oh a lady? Heck no, deal is off!”

That’s definitely not how I thought the exchange was gonna go. Makes ya wonder somethin’ somethin’. Not gonna say it… okay, I’ll say it: maybe he wasn’t into ladies? Or he was super greedy. Maybe he just never saw Ruth in her prom dress.

Then Boaz and the possibly gay, greedy kinsman exchanged sandals, as it was customary to do when transferring property and such. (Why don’t we do that anymore? That’s a nifty tradition.) I wonder if it’s just one sandal? And they go mix-matched? It’s in the singular, so I’m envisioning a one-sandal swap here. Anyway, then Boaz declared “I’m buying that land! Ruth, Mahlon’s widow, is totes my wife now, ya heard?!” And the elders go “We are witnesses!  Hope y’all make a whole bunch of babies, like 12 of them, like Leah and Rachel!”

Then Boaz and Ruth got married, and had a baby named Obed, and Naomi helped to raise him. And they all said 1 Ruth > 7 sons. Ruth rocks!

Here’s what I gleaned from the book of Ruth

(hahahahaha get it? Gleaned? Ohhhhhh my gosh. Hahahaha)

She was a humble, devoted woman. She loved Naomi and did not abandon her, so she was loyal to her family. She was brave, and probably a powerlifter. She worked hard. She provided for Naomi. She knew how to go from glean to glam, from harvest to hottie, from barley-threshing to breath-taking!  She was obedient to Naomi, even when the instructions were a bit racy. She had to be patient, to deal with Boaz calling her “my daughter” and not snapped and been like “look here, you need to knock that off.” She was confident. She was faithful.

Ruth is a great example to me and my heart right now. I feel like I’m going to the harvest right now, about to launch into this mission trip. 

I know God will bring me my Boaz. How do I know? He gave one of my dearest friends a word that He would. : ] and in that same word, He told me to read Ruth and find my Naomi. He told me to rest. 

I’m working on in, Daddy. Thank You for that word.

Retreat

I think of Spartans when I see the word retreat. 




But the retreat I'm doing is not the cowardice definition.

I have approximately 90 minutes to eat, shower, and pack a small bag for 5 days for a mini family retreat (wow we never take those, so this is really just a treat haha). We are going to some ridiculously beautiful places for a New Year's vacation.

Iguaba

Buzios

Cabo Frio

I'll be back in 2012

I'm not sure if I'll have a chance to upload any blogs during this retreat, or be on my computer much, but you better believe these wheels will keep on turnin'. Either way, there will be much more coming soon.

I figured it's only fair to go over my New Year's resolutions from my veeeery first blog entry here, almost a year ago, "2011... This better be good" haha

1. 1. Serve others through cooking, especially my church family. More than likely requiring my mastery of OAMC and acquiring a stand-alone freezer.I had originally joined the Mercy Team at my old church, and I was actually a Mercy Team Captain, organizing meal provision for families in my church who had births, surgeries, or deaths in the family. Then I felt God's direction to switch churches (um best thing I ever did all year I think, no offense TBC, but The Vista was exactly what my heart needed).  Never  got the freezer, because I ended up selling all my stuff! Good call, right?
2. 
   
3. 2. To save money and go visit my family in Brazil!!! How I miss them!! QUE SAUDADE!!
   Here I am, in Brazil! That worked out well :)
   
   
   
4. 3. To put in some major running mileage on my Vibram Bikilas this year. Like 500+ miles for this year at least. Knees don't fail me now!!Not sure on my exact mileage because I stopped keeping track about halfway through the year, but as of June I was a little ahead of my goal, nearing 300 miles. I ran 2 marathons this year, and one half-marathon :) And I got 2nd place at a 10k in March, which was SO neat and unexpected. I had never gotten a medal (after track and crosscountry in high school) for any of my running events, other than a completion medal. And that day was awesome because I got to share love and encourage a volunteer lady that was getting treated like crap by the other runners. I wrote about it here. Oh and I had NO knee problems in 2011, thank You Lord!
   
   
   
5. 4. To continue reading the Bible daily, humbly striving for growth and listening for His guidance.
   I did this :) I read daily. I really did this. And I can't be happier :) I've read most of the Bible this year. Some OT books I kindly skipped over, or skimmed, but I'm gonna tackle them in 2012. I'm currently reading a chapter of Job a day, til launch, and I am reading Ruth, because my heart needs it.
6. 
   
7. 
   
8. 5. To KISS DATING GOODBYE and trust in God's timing.
   Oops. I had one boyfriend.  Didn't workout for a variety of reasons. So I kind of messed up #5, eh? I'll do better in 2012.
   
   
   
9. 6. To not procrastinate my Christmas preparations like I did in 2010!!!! 
10.  I spent my Christmas in Brazil, so I didn't do my annual "fudgeathon" like the usual. Sorry kids! No fudge or divinity, or the crazy awesome baked goodies this year. I didn't really send out cards either. Family took precedence this year, and the people nearest and dearest to me know that they are nearest and dearest ALL YEAR and don't need a reassuring tin can to come in the mail, right? Thank you guys. I love yall.
    
11. 
    
12. 7. To get my smile straightened out with invisalign!
13.  I did this!!!!! WOOHOO!!! Straight teeth. It hurt, in more ways than one. It was an insecurity I'd had for oh my whole life, and my family never could afford it. Big change. I don't regret it. I hate to say it was worth it, because it was expensive. Would I do it again? Ahhh no. I wouldn't. But now that it's done, I appreciate it... a lot.
    
    
14. 8. To write encouraging notes and cards throughout the year. As it turns out, most people have this in common with me: we love encouraging hand-written notes and cards "just because"!!!
15.  I did this :) I mailed out some, and really poured out encouragement via cards. Another thing I do for people now, because I know what it feels like, is comment. I leave comments. I don't just read their blogs anymore. I'm subscribed to my team, and a few extra, and every single time they write, you can bet you'll see a little comment from me at the bottom, no matter how simple. It's a simple way of showing love and support. It's the least I can do, and I know it means a whole lot. I care.
    
    
16. 9. To not be a stumbling block to anyone. 
17.  Ding ding ding. I think I did this well. I dodged a lot of bullets this year.  I praise God for the awareness He's given me, and all the times He's broken my pride. 
    
    
18. 10. To look for ways to help others and use my time to serve Jesus. Yes, to go out of my way when an opportunity arises. 
19. I think this one is a winner. I am leaving everything I know. I'm doing on a mission trip of a lifetime for 11 months, to 11 countries. You could say this is going "out of my way" :) Thank You Lord for providing a beautiful #10 for me.

 Okay kids, that's all I got. That should hold you over for a few days, eh? :)
 
I wish you JOY in 2012. Unwavering, unconditional, down-in-your-soul JOY. Because joy is deeply-rooted in Christ, and happiness is a conditional blessing.

HAVE A JOYOUS NEW YEAR :)