My take on Ruth

I thought being called “sister” and “friend” was bad!

Imagine being a single or widowed (or divorced in my case) and having your contender call you “my daughter.”

Oh no you didn’t!

I gotta say, there’s something fishy about how it all went down. You see for yourself, so here's my take:

Naomi had a husband, two sons, and two daughters-in-law (Ruth and Orpah). All the men died. She was left with Ruth and Orpah, and Orpah went back to her land. And then there were two: Naomi and Ruth. Naomi tried to tell Ruth to go back to her land, but Ruth refused and said some strong words along the lines of "I will die where you die, and may the Lord deal with me severely if anything but death separates you and me." (and my editor's brain thought "it's 'you and I,' Ruth!")
So to Bethlehem they went, and it was harvest-time.

Upon arrival, Naomi tried unsuccessfully to change her name to "Mara" which means bitter. Everybody still called her Naomi.

Ruth started going to Boaz’s fields and gathering whatever the harvesters left behind. The Boaz arrived and said “hey you can hang out with my servant girls… I told all the men they couldn’t rape you… if you get thirsty, you can get a drink from the water jars, over there.” Ruth bowed down, all grateful, and asked him why he was being so nice. He said he heard that she was taking care of her mother-in-law, and said all kinds of nice blessings over her and invited her to have dinner with the harvesters. Then he told the harvesters to leave some stalks behind so she gets more food. She wound up with 22 liters of barley, and managed to carry it home to Naomi. How did she carry this home? Beast mode!

Then Naomi said “Oh yeah, I know Boaz, we’re kinda related!”

Now the story gets a little PG13. Naomi told Ruth to bring sexy back, get all hotsy, and go to the barley threshing floor, where Boaz was gonna be. She was wearing her finest clothes, and she put on all her sexy Victoria’s Secret lotions. I was smiling, picturing Ruth in total prom garb. I bet her sleeves were real big.

I like your sleeves...

So she made her way to this grainy place, watched as he ate, knocked back a few, and went to sleep. Then she uncovered his feet? (not sure what this signifies… will google it later… it’s probably dirty… nevermind, I don’t wanna know!) Then Ruth laid down by his feet.

Boaz woke up in the middle of the night, because something startled him. I think either a) Ruth was snoring or b) Ruth threw something to make a huge noise. I would have thrown a chicken or something.

I noticed that it didn’t say he had to wake her up. He just woke up and found a woman lying at his feet. Like heeeey.

This is a recipe for disaster!

 I know it would not have gone well had Boaz not been calling her “my daughter” and been a strong man of God.

Ruth must have looked so good that she looked NOTHING like her usual self. Dang girl.

 “WHO ARE YOU???” – Boaz

What was she supposed to say? “oh hey there, I just happen to look super fancy tonight, to come here to this threshing floor of barley. Oh and I smell awesome! And here you are, all sleepy and tipsy, and I’m laying at your feet. What are the odds!”

But instead, Ruth (so smooth) said “I’m Ruth. I just so happen to be totally available and you can marry me.” Very subtle. Way to go, Ruth.

Then he calls her “my daughter” AGAIN and says “I noticed you’re not a man-chaser or a gold-digging hoochie mama. I’m gonna tell all the guys you’re super classy. Hang out here for a while, and I know a guy who is next in line to marry you. If he doesn’t put a ring on it, then I’ll put a ring on it. And here’s some barley!”

That is so weird. I’m laughing at her “walk of shame” back home, holding a ton of barley.

Naomi must have been pacing all night, in walks disheveled, slept-on-the-floor-in-my-prom-dress Ruth. Naomi’s all “sooooooo???” and she’s like “well here’s some barley, ma, and um” *wipes her runny mascara* “he’s gonna talk to another guy first, and if that guy doesn’t want me, then I’ll be Mrs. Boaz.”

Comforting.

On to Chapter 4, (oh and thanks, Bible, for total spoiler title of Chapter 4 “Boaz Marries Ruth”. I mean, I already knew the ending, but what if I didn’t?!) I thought Boaz was being sneaky talking about the land first, then bringing up the widow later. But the kinsman was like “Sure I’ll take the land!” and Boaz said “Oh yeah, btw you get a lady with it!” and kinsman goes “Oh a lady? Heck no, deal is off!”

That’s definitely not how I thought the exchange was gonna go. Makes ya wonder somethin’ somethin’. Not gonna say it… okay, I’ll say it: maybe he wasn’t into ladies? Or he was super greedy. Maybe he just never saw Ruth in her prom dress.

Then Boaz and the possibly gay, greedy kinsman exchanged sandals, as it was customary to do when transferring property and such. (Why don’t we do that anymore? That’s a nifty tradition.) I wonder if it’s just one sandal? And they go mix-matched? It’s in the singular, so I’m envisioning a one-sandal swap here. Anyway, then Boaz declared “I’m buying that land! Ruth, Mahlon’s widow, is totes my wife now, ya heard?!” And the elders go “We are witnesses!  Hope y’all make a whole bunch of babies, like 12 of them, like Leah and Rachel!”

Then Boaz and Ruth got married, and had a baby named Obed, and Naomi helped to raise him. And they all said 1 Ruth > 7 sons. Ruth rocks!

Here’s what I gleaned from the book of Ruth

(hahahahaha get it? Gleaned? Ohhhhhh my gosh. Hahahaha)

She was a humble, devoted woman. She loved Naomi and did not abandon her, so she was loyal to her family. She was brave, and probably a powerlifter. She worked hard. She provided for Naomi. She knew how to go from glean to glam, from harvest to hottie, from barley-threshing to breath-taking!  She was obedient to Naomi, even when the instructions were a bit racy. She had to be patient, to deal with Boaz calling her “my daughter” and not snapped and been like “look here, you need to knock that off.” She was confident. She was faithful.

Ruth is a great example to me and my heart right now. I feel like I’m going to the harvest right now, about to launch into this mission trip. 

I know God will bring me my Boaz. How do I know? He gave one of my dearest friends a word that He would. : ] and in that same word, He told me to read Ruth and find my Naomi. He told me to rest. 

I’m working on in, Daddy. Thank You for that word.