Rebuked

"He who listens to a life-giving rebuke will be at home among the wise."
-Proverbs 15:31

Loud and clear, I heard it.
I felt that sinking feeling, the one we feel when we're reprimanded in front of the whole class. I messed up.

What I did may sound silly to you. You're probably gonna snicker and think "Helena, that's not even bad." Trust me though, it was.

You know when you go to a restaurant and you order the same thing, because you've had it before and you know how it tastes and what to expect?

I ordered cheese pizza.

Nothing wrong with cheese pizza, but as I looked through the menu, I saw different combinations, different foods, crazy toppings, and I was hungry.
I had decided in my mind that I would try something different, get a little crazy, if you will. Then, as the server took the order, I defaulted back to cheese pizza.


Menus taken away, server out of sight, chatter resumed, and then it hit me.

I found myself waiting for cheese pizza. Seriously?

Enough time passed for me to think about this decision, and I realized that I do this in several areas of my life. I default back to what I feel is familiar, choosing things I feel I can control. When I got home from the race, for example, the first thing I did was apply to a hospital. Why not work at a place I've worked for the last 3 years? That's logical.

However, the Lord has given me an alternate plan and a deeper hunger.

It takes a lot more faith and trust to go on a limb, try new things, allow myself to be surprised, and not order the cheese pizza of life.

Jesus is teaching me that courage.
He keeps assuring me that there is more in store for me than I can imagine and keep trying to choose for myself.
He is daring me to try, to ask, to seek, to knock.


In His rebuke, He said 'you know better than to ask little of me.'

Busted. Rebuked.

More, please. Surprise me. 

It Starts Here

As I drove into Laurel Park to run its mile loop, I began looking for the trail start. I didn’t see it, but I spotted the half-mile mark. Good enough, I thought. I parked my car and began my run. 

Halfway through the loop, I found the real start sign. 

Most of you know I feel called to women’s ministry, but I didn’t know where to start. 

I followed the Lord’s leading to Georgia, of all places, and hit the ground running.

I’ve been serving in the Adventures In Missions office and taking classes in the afternoon, as part of the Center for Global Action (CGA) curriculum. I've been meeting with several people who have taken me under their wings, people whose words I take to heart and whose faith I admire. I even signed up for a web design class! I started attending Revolution Church and now I am one of the leaders for their brand-new youth group, Recourse.

The pace has been wild and new, but I kept on running.
Lo and behold, I spotted my start sign...

Leading a Bible study!

The very first Phylla House Bible Study for divorced and widowed women will be here in Gainesville, Georgia. It’ll be 7 weeks long, meeting on Mondays, from 6 to 8pm.  With the Lord’s blessing, there will be ladies who are willing to meet and allow me to lead them in a very special study through relevant and sensitive subjects. It kicks off April 8^th and goes until May 20^th.  If you’re interested and available, send me an email at phyllahouse@gmail.com.

I've been working on the website, and it isn't much yet but I'm learning: phyllahouse.com

The Lord is calling and I'm answering.

How’s that for a start?

James Flashback

Here's a blog I wrote back in October, and it somehow got missed... it's never too late :)

______________________________________________________________________

Today I read the book of James.

I’ve read James a gazillion times (rounding down) and yet things still hit me that I feel like I’ve never noticed before. 

James is addressing the 12 tribes, the name of Jesus is only mentioned one time in verse 1, and it’s written to exhort believers. A lot of people love this book because they go “oh dang, yeah, I’m so busted, I feel so convicted” and that’s the exact point. It hits a lot of hot-topic struggles believers have. 

Starts off with a biggie “consider it PURE JOY when you face trials of many kinds”… whoa James, hang on, you didn’t even warm up, going straight to how I view and handle trials? 

Then going to “don’t doubt when you pray”? Shoot. How do you know me?

Then the reversal of values, how the world views money/status versus how God sees it… then not to blame God or anybody else but myself and my evil desires when I’m being tempted… 

Then my tendency to forget that GOD is the source of everything good and perfect, not somebody else or money or myself or a job or the world. 

Gosh I’m not even through the first chapter and I had to take a minute. 

Plunging back into ‘be quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to become angry’… busted busted… okay I don’t get angry that fast… unless it’s month 10 on the race and I’m hungry, sweaty, and exhausted, then maybe I’m easily irritable. Ugh. 

Being a doer of the word, not merely hearing it.

Favoritism.

Truly loving my neighbor.

Letting my actions reflect my faith.

Taming my tongue.

True wisdom.

Wrong motives in prayer.

The choice between God and the world.

Submission and humility to God.

Bragging.

Hoarding of wealth.

Patience in suffering.

Being a person who keeps my word.

Praying effectively and powerfully.

Reconciliation and confrontation of believers who have strayed.

GOOD LORD, that’s a lot to take in from 5 short chapters. I thought about what I could do differently when I get home. 
But then it hit me that I don’t have to wait til I’m home to start. 
We don't have to wait to apply what God teaches us.
There's no better time than now.
_________________________________________________________________



Thank you guys for always reading my blogs :) 
More to come very soon!!!

God is CHATTY in the mornings!

One thing I learned on this trip is how to hear God.

Yeah, it sounds weird, but wouldn’t it be even weirder if a God who claims to be alive never spoke?

It’s not like the cat has His tongue.

We just don’t listen very well. God is always telling us to be still and to listen, and that when we call on Him, He reveals things to us. It says in the Bible that the Holy Spirit is here to teach us new things, things that Jesus didn’t teach us because we couldn’t bear it at the time. If this is surprising to you, take a hint to read more about the Holy Spirit in the Bible!!! He’s God, just as much God as the Father and the Son! 

I wish I had read more about the Holy Spirit before this trip, but He’s kind of taboo, because He’s a little bit weeeeeird! Weird in a holy holy holy way, but weird nonetheless.

I was sitting on the roof at 5:55 am, waiting on the sunrise in India. I didn’t set an alarm at all, but simply prayed that God would wake me up in time to see the sun come up. Faithfully, He answered that prayer. I went up the 3 flights of stairs to the very top, and sat down on a chair. The air felt humid yet cool, and the sky was already lit up. No sun in sight. It wasn’t until 6:18 that I saw the actual sun… the haze here is pretty bad. All this time I was singing and praying, asking the Lord to speak to me. And speak He did.

I asked Him about California, and asked for Him to shed some light on that for me.

He said that He wants me in California because it is a dark place. He is sending soldiers there. He has a lot of movement going on, lots of miracles, lots of stirring of the Holy Spirit there, but He wants more. He wants more people to be saved from California. He told me it is valuable to Him, and He compared it to Nineveh’s value in the book of Jonah. He told me that there are many women there that need the hope of the gospel because they have a false gospel and they desperately need the truth. He stressed their money and their influence. He wants healings and adoptions to take place in California, and for there to be seeds planted for adoption.

The fun part is that I still don’t have my acceptance to seminary. Waiting is rough.

I asked Him about going to Guatemala sometime from January til August, before classes would potentially start.

He said that wherever I am, I am His daughter, and I shine. He said that I have a choice, and that I have the freedom to make that choice. He gave me peace about it either way, and He gave me two dates: February 1^st and May 1^st. I don’t know what those mean yet, but I think those are both dates when I will go to Guatemala. Big choice to make here, and I’ll be praying more about it! 

I asked Him about my heart department, of course, and He’s given me a lot of peace. I felt Him smiling at me and just nodding His head and telling me to trust Him. It was kind of funny. I laughed about that. I do trust Him. He has really really good plans :] 

Then He told me things I didn’t even ask to hear, but He is a good Father and He knew that I needed to be reminded.

He told me that He has wired me for women’s ministry. He said that women trust me and that I am a good listener. He said He trusts me! He said that I will teach and help people to understand how to deal with wounds. He said my ministry is healing and community. He wants me to enable ‘broken vessels’ to serve, especially serve in orphan ministry. He said many children will be adopted. He said He will guide me and to stay filled with the Holy Spirit. He reminded me that I am free, and that I obey because I trust Him. He said He is so proud of me, and that He loves me so much.

In conclusion, God is quite chatty in the morning.

He is perfect. His words are perfect. Don’t be afraid to listen, and don’t be surprised when you hear. 

Please keep all these things in your prayers, and that the Lord’s perfect will is accomplished in me. Pray for me against anxiety, fear, worry, doubt, and impatience. Pray for peace, joy, confidence, courage, and most of all, love.

It's a good day to be free!

Hey peeps :)

Haven’t typed a theme-less, don't-know-where-this-is-going update blog in a while.


Today is the day.
 

Perks of the day: day off from ministry, and I watched 2 movies, had a couch all to myself, spent absolutely no cash, worked out, took the most refreshing cold shower, and had a great time at our prayer meeting.
 

I got asked if I’m good with commas (yes), and I’m currently mesmerized, watching ants devour the corpses of the bigger bugs I’ve killed a few minutes ago.
 

I enjoyed about 5 minutes of air-conditioning (whoa, treat).
 

My time in the Bible is amazing **still powering through chronologically… if you’re curious as to where I am, David’s just been anointed king of Israel – 1 Chron 12, 2 Sam 5, Psalm 107 ish**
 

God is teaching me so much in this journey, especially about patience and the things I thought I wanted. Much like last year, I got to my birthday and realized none of my plans were right.
 

That’s okay.

I’m serving the Lord!
 

I have around 7 months to make a decision of my “next step” and I know God has me by the hand. God is raising my standards and opening up my eyes to His power and His will for me. 
  

Way back when, I learned Jeremiah 29:11 at VBS and sang songs about God having plans for each person. Then I arrived in the “real world” and I bought into a different gospel:

Get this kind of job. Earn money. Buy stuff. Find love. Feel happy.

Trust in God, but… take matters into my own hands.

I didn’t really rely on God.

I prayed. I thanked Him.
Then I’d find myself in a pit, crying out.

He’d get me out. And repeat.

I’d sit back and wonder how on earth so many bad things could happen to me, oblivious to the fact I’d been making all those choices and putting myself in those situations.

Lo and behold, once I began submitting to God, my life started to change.

Not a “prosperity gospel” kind of change, but something similarly amazing:

Big changes seemed possible. Crazy stuff seemed possible. I did things I never thought were possible for me. Me, a missionary? I’m not good enough! I’m chosen? Seriously? How am I supposed to leave my family? They need me! 

Then I looked around and saw that God had relieved me from my burdens.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28

I came to Him and He truly gave me rest. Funny definition of rest, Lord!

He took away the burdens I’d put on myself. I was no longer in charge of helping my brother, as he was all set in college. I was no longer bound to my past.

I was ransomed.
 

Every relationship I tried to settle for crumbled.

God was determined to have His will in my life. I invited Him further. I asked for His intervention, and He answered. He’s faithful! He spared me from a lot of harm.

He has better things in mind, bigger things.

There’s more to go through so I can fully appreciate what’s to come. There are opportunities that only God will present. His hand will be all over it.

Meanwhile, I’m 25, serving the Lord as a missionary, and traveling the world with a backpack and a squad of 40 lunatics for Jesus.

I’m learning to appreciate the little things in life.
I’m finding contentment with my lot, my today.

I make jokes, watch bugs, and I’m good with commas.
I’m still a goofy weirdo.


The difference is that God’s word is sweet as dessert to me. I crave it. I love it. In His Word, He reveals to me why His plans are better, His ways are higher, and His timing is flawless. I truly trust Him. I humbly submit.
 

“Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.” Ps 107:15-16

It’s a good day to be free!
 

God bless yall! I miss yall. Can’t wait to see your faces, and hug you again. Pray for me, as I’m in a spiritually dark country, boldly bringing light.

 

Faithfully His,

Helena

25 Lessons I've Learned in 25 Years

Simple and straight-forward enough. I just had my quarter century birthday on the 12th of April :) I'm aging remarkably slowly, so I'm not overly concerned.

Here are 25 extremely random things I've learned, illogically ordered.

1) There is nothing that I need that God has not already provided.

2) The food I despised the most, I now like: bananas. So anything can change :) 

3) Hammocks are the most efficient furnishing.

4) There is a "right way" to eat a mango without a knife.

5) The fetal position is the safest way to roll down a mountain.

6) All eyes are on you when you stumble, so get ready to preach in the pit.

7) Laughter really is the best medicine. Joy heals. Praise binds wounds.

8) God actively restores. Just look at me!

9) The only way to practice patience is to wait. It is easier to wait with headphones on, though ;)

10) It is hella hard to ignore cute puppies wrestling.

11) Cats can talk. 

12) The sixth love language is chocolate.

13) Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Oh the truth in that.

14) There are 2 kinds of people: those who bring you closer to God, and those who don't. Look at where you are, and then look at who's around you. It's not a coincidence!

15) Joy is a gift from God. No one or nothing can take it away unless you allow it.

16) There is a reason for the season. God brings us through hardships intentionally. Grow.

17) Asians don't speak Spanish, no matter how hard you try!

18) I don't have to understand something in order for it to be right.

19) Ladies: never start or end a relationship on the day before your period starts. Shoot, don't leave the house. Don't use your phone. What a wretched day!

20) Fountains are upside-down water falls. (I'm so deep!)

21) Never fall in love with a crazy person. Here's my how to blog.

22) Killing a scorpion is easier than it seems.

23) Cesteiro que faz um cesto faz um cento. Means a basket-maker who makes one basket can make 100 baskets, so if someone was able to do something one time, they have the ability to do it again and again. Careful with the basket-makers. 

24) If you know what you want, by all means, go for it. Love in action! Be brave!

25) It's not about me. It's really really not about me!

Numbers: come to your census

I thought having Leviticus punch me in the gut was bad…

I moved on to Numbers, thinking, “surely I won’t learn much here”

But again, I was schooled.

God loves numbers. He loves counting. He loves measuring. God is super good at math. I think it’s safe to say God did whisper to me the answers in Calculus when I prayed those desperate prayers before tests. 

God promises to rescue us, a lot. 

Oh and God loves to party. He likes it when we have fun, aka rejoice. 

God also loved rules back when… phew. Lots of special rules and hoops to jump through, and He made sure to communicate allllllllll of them to Moses. 

Reading Numbers, I learned a lot. I learned that I should never beat a donkey. I also learned that if a donkey ever speaks reason into me, I’m probably the one acting like a… ahem… donkey. And that people who beat donkeys end up dying by sword wound a few chapters later. 

I learned that God hates it when we reject His plan for us, especially over food preferences. I definitely had a peanut butter heart check.

God says “I am giving you the service of ____________ as a gift” in Chapter 18… serving God is a God-given gift! Thank You, Lord, for redundancy and grace!

Back in the day, God solved impatience with venomous snakes. Thank You Jesus, for sparing me from the snakes. 

I learned that one does not simply walk into Edom. If you get this reference, you are a very special breed and I love you so much. 

God loves musicals… People are always bursting into song in the Bible, even in the most random places. It adds to my amusement when I sing the songs in my own weird way. (Sidenote: if I’m reading a book by a British author, I read it with a Brit accent in my head [I kid you not!] and you should have seen me smiling while reading a book by KP Yohannan, who is from India, because [yep, you guessed it] I read it with an Indian accent in my head. I should probably add the note here that when the donkey spoke in Chapter 22, I read it with the same accent as the donkey in Shrek… and it was super funny.) I should probably make a video of me singing the Song of Moses hahaha I am ridiculous sometimes, I do acknowledge this. I think it makes Jesus laugh, so I keep on :]

So Moses and Aaron screw up big time. They disobey God and lose out on the promise land. Total bummer. 

Miriam gets leprosy for a week because she ran her mouth. Seriously, guys, we should be SO thankful for Christ. Can you imagine getting leprosy for talking some smack? We would go bananas.

Then in the end of Numbers, God has the Israelites run another census after the plagues and the battles and the epic sinner smite-a-thon that took place. 

They count all the people, they count lots of gold. 

I, in turn, counted my blessings.