Breathing Room

Spending time with my family 24/7 has been a wonderful, interesting test of my character.

After being in different hemispheres for years and living alone, there are certain things I took for granted. Topping the list: breathing room.

My little brothers keep a one foot radius from me. Even as I sit here typing, Joao's foot is dangerously close to my face. Do I love it? Yes! (My 7-year-old brother has cute little feet.) Does it push me straight out of my comfort zone? Yes and no. I have no problem with people in my personal space bubble.... but to stay in my space bubble for days? It feels a little foreign, pun intended.

I thrive in awkward situations. I find humor in the weirdness. I take pictures so I can laugh about it again later. And I do, heartily.

my grandpa's life-size Baby Jesus, on the side table

 I am getting Spartan training for the mission trip. I have to fight for time in the Word, because we're always going somewhere. I read my chapter (more like 4) of Job last night with a flashlight after everyone was asleep, to the sounds of Arthur's gentle, snorting-snoring. My vacation has been a walk on the beach. There's been a ton of beach-walking, beach-running, and beach-sitting. Yet people forget the beach has winged ants and beetles, and you get sand in your eyes and well... you get sand everywhere. Then you have the seagulls to worry about. I am traumatized, because a seagull pooped on my NOSE a few years ago. Despite all this, the good always outweighs the bad. The beauty never goes unappreciated. I still love the beach, and find peace in the sound of breaking waves.

Camboinhas Beach

Goodbye setting conducive to reading or learning.
Goodbye sand-less eyes and clean feet.
Goodbye tweeting when I feel like it.
Goodbye time in the bathroom.
Goodbye breathing room.

Hello family.
Hello freedom.
Hello giant bugs to slay.
Hello edifying preparation.
Hello ever-increasing surrender of my expectations.

And then there were three...

Antonio is moving out, heading back to school!
I get that old-timey feeling of reminiscing, back in the day when I went to college and had first days of school. Oh and buying new pens! Post-its! The excitement of digging out my "good" highlighters. Back in high school I'd check and double check the battery of my calculators (yes plural!). I'd say those were the days, but today is a beautiful day in my life. I can smile about those memories, but today in itself is a lovely blessing. It's just as special if not more special, simply for the fact that it is still here and I'm in it.


I had my World Race interview today :)  (YAAAY)  I'd like to say it went really well. We drudged up and talked about a lot of pain and hurt in my past. I told her I'll never talk about it flippantly, but it no longer has chains on me. It's no longer a dark cloud over me. I was taught how to really truly forgive, when it hits home. Grace is bigger. God's plan is brighter. My testimony is bumpy, but so full of God's grace. And I was able to say that I had a peace about all of it, and the mentors I've consulted have raised no concerns. My interviewer perked up when I said this. She said that's what they look for. Lots of people are in my life, many advisers, many mentors, and many prayer warriors. I have a strong support group and community, and I think that's absolutely crucial to thriving while on mission.


Exhale!
Now with Antonio gone, it's gonna be just Casper (the cat) and Edward (the turtle) living with me. I'll enjoy them as much as I can in the meantime. It breaks my heart, but in September I'll be finding a new home for each of them. The time to start claiming them is now. I will accept bribes and flattery haha. Remember, the cat does talk. He says mama and helloooo. And the turtle does not talk, which is a definite plus when it comes to turtles. September will be "Sell everything I own" month, so be ready. Stop shopping now. Start saving up to buy all my stuff :) I'll be giving most of it away, but I will accept donations!!!


Love you all, and I appreciate the prayers.

Hankerin!

Hey yall :)
Goodness... it's been a long time since I've put something on here. Yes, a week to me is a long time. I've had the hankerin to write so many times but I have been keeping so busy, and work has been busier too.

I guess updates are in order, eh?

I've been devoting a lot of my time to what we would call in Brazil "matando a saudade" which means to kill the missing feeling. So visiting friends that I miss :) You know you have true friends when it's been a long time yet you just catch right back up. I hate that we're all so busy. I really do. Let's all go back to the dorms and be neighbors again? haha no, we've grown up. It's a beautiful thing, but bittersweet.

My brother and I are spending lots of quality time :) we went to Six Flags last weekend and last night we watched a movie and I made empanadas for dinner! It's fun to have him around and he keeps me company now that Ruth is gone to Africa. I'm not sure what I'm gonna do when he goes back to Austin. I don't know where I want to live, or who I want to live with, or what I want to do. Hurray! There's lots of room for God to work here, and that much is really exciting. I miss the heck out of my parents. Definitely going to fix that. It's hard because I get home and I just want to stay home! I have no excuse, they're 15 minutes down the road. My aunt and I skyped and it was FANTASTIC. God bless technology. All the way in Brazil and the video quality was pretty good!

On the Skype note, I skyped with Thomas (went to high school with him) all the way in Iraq! Skype is the coolest thing. I got to see him! Pray he's safe out there, please? He's gonna be home soon!!

As far as working out, I've been exhausted lately. I lucked out that I work this weekend because I don't think I could wing a 14-miler right now. I need to get back on the horse!!

On a super exciting note, I caught up on sleep! I know, wow.

If you're all holding your breaths for a romantic update, there's no news.

I'm officially a member of my church, the Vista! It feels so nice to belong to a church family again. As far as my walk with Christ goes, I've been keeping up, reading everyday, and He's definitely working in my life right now. It's safe to say that only God knows!! But how exciting that He has plans for me, and my heart is joyful in hope. He's gonna bring exactly what I need, when I need it. I lack nothing. What I need, I have in Christ. A lot of my anxiety and my worries went out the window in this last week. This is probably why I've been so quiet. It's a little bittersweet but I do praise God for taking something out of my life (at least for a time) to show me I don't really need it. I'm really focused right now. Standing strong... a little on the guarded side, but I think it's for my benefit. I have my friends and family rallying beside me like never before. My church family is so strong and encouraging. I have people asking me questions, asking for prayer, and I get to see God unfold hearts the way only He can do. I'm assisting in heart surgery :)

And in turn, I ask that you, friends and family and internet creepers, keep me in your prayers as well. Pray for God's direction for my life, and timing for my family. Pray for safety and the unfolding hearts of my friends, seeking wisdom. Pray that they find the truth and grace of Christ. Pray that I trust God's vision for my life and have a grateful, content, non-lonely heart.

He does listen kindly and lovingly to prayer. It's okay to be clingy, God can handle it :)

That's all I have for now. There's some funny stuff I have to post! These wheels never stop spinning, I tell ya.

Love you all so very much


-Helena