Jambo, yall!
Yeah, I've managed another ridiculous title with "kenya" in it. I love Kenya.
Right now it's raining hard, and I've managed to score 175 in Entanglement (not my highest score, but it's decent). I'm sleeping indoors tonight, in the top bunk. I already miss my tent, but it's warmer indoors, and my throat needs to heal. Please say a little prayer that I don't fall off this bed.
It's chilly here at night, and, although I've had no health issues here thus far, I woke up this morning with no voice whatsoever. I sounded like the wind when I talked haha and the funny part is that I had been asked to sing during worship, and I had to preach. So I ended up just mouthing the words on stage, without a microphone, and being a "motivator" since I popcorn around during worship like a weirdo... apparently this is cool in world race culture hahaha. Then I managed to preach with a microphone, booming my screechy hoarse voice through the church.
I preached this morning on forgiveness. God really put it on my heart to talk about it to these kids, because they used to live in the streets, and surely they've had their share of "they done me wrong" rooted in their hearts. I talked about how when someone sins against you, they plant a seed in your heart. Sometimes it's bad enough that they plant a whole tree in our hearts. But we have to ask God to help us take it out, because who can uproot a tree by themselves, right? :) We talked a bunch about forgiveness, and in the end they prayed the Lord's Prayer in Swahili. I told them to listen to the words they were saying, and how important it is to forgive since God forgives us as we forgive others.
My favorite things this month... sunsets, big hugs, teary smiles, avocados, tent movies, my ever-growing trust in God and His perfect provision. Oh and what He's doing in my heart!
It's month 8... it still delights me to think back to this exact time last year... I had no idea I was coming on the race! I got accepted on September 1st, so up until then I still wasn't sure. You can look back, if you wanna creep, and look at my blogs from last year. I blogged a lot. Some are funny, some are serious, duh.
The sunsets in Kenya are incredible. And hate to break it to ya, Texas, but the stars at night are big and bright in Kenya haha. The stars here are incredible. I haven't seen a shooting star yet, but I have not yet ventured with a blanket to watch the stars (who am I?! That's usually the first thing I do!) By 7:30 pm I'm tired!
I love teaching Bible, I love drawing randomness on the board with chalk. I taught on Jesus calming the storm, and I drew out the boat and the disciples on the boat with sad faces and Jesus snoring, and the waves. It was ridiculous, but the kids were laughing. I went up to a kid and shook up his chair, asked him if he thought he could sleep through a storm :) mornings are fun, full of laughter and doodling.
Afternoons, however, are full of tears. Counseling. So much pain and bottled up emotions in these kids. It blesses me that they trust me and the other mzungus with their stories and struggles, and that they let us pray for them. My counseling kids are the ones who seek me out and give me the biggest smiles and hugs throughout the week. I'm the one learning.
Our food is mostly amazing. I'm not a fan of ugali, don't think I'm ever gonna like it. It's worse than eating play doh. I like the greens and the beans and rice. I love all that stuff. But when that giant bowl of glob comes out, a little tiny part of me wilts.
My team does dinner on our own. One of my amazing teammates cooks us dinner, and she does an amazing job. Once a week, on Saturdays, we venture out into town and grocery shop. We have to catch public transportation, endure the super sad street kids asking us for bread (heartbreaking), and the creepy men grabbing at our arms (I go on mama bear mode, telling them not to touch my girls!). We hunt for good veggies and buy lots of avocados. Avocados get the prize for my favorite food this month. Yesterday, I carried a huge bag of groceries on my head, like a legit African woman. I couldn't balance it, but I helped with my arms. It felt awesome.
God is teaching me to let go. He's teaching me that I don't have to consider every option. He knows what's good for me and He's gonna put it right in front of me. I like to be reasonable and controlling. For example: grad school. Picking out a seminary has been rough on me. There are several with my major. If I tried to look them all up with Kenyan internet, I would go nuts. I would seriously go banana sandwich, and my team would feedback me about it all month. God has made it clear to me that I don't need to lose my marbles researching every school catalog and every application requirement. I have so much peace about this decision already :)
God is teaching me how to draw thick lines. God is changing my patterns and my personality. He's changing my habits, my food preferences, my quirks, my annoyances, and my favorite things. Even the people I once thought were "attractive" or "my type" are so not attractive anymore haha. God is showing me what is good in His eyes, and I'm amazed by the goodness of the Lord. He's pushing me to be stubborn about the right things, and let go of the others. It's scary. I fear I will disappoint a lot of people when I get home, because I'm no longer the person that left. My comfort is that God is pleased with this new me, and that person is a little tiny bit more like Jesus than the old me.
I figured out, after much soul-searching, that I wanted to do something grand and good, because I felt so bad about the downward turns my life had taken. God taught me that I don't have to earn anything. That I'm simply forgiven, and that my healing is slow, steady, and certain. To live constantly surrendered and dependent on God is now the goal. It's not a scale system, where my good has to outweigh the bad. The debt is paid. I'm free. :) Big stuff. Some is cliche, but you'd be surprised at the elementary stuff that's hard to sink in.
Okay, it's 9:20 pm in Kitale, Kenya, and I'm super sleepy.
"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy..." Philippians 1:3-4
Upendo,
Helena
