It's a good day to be free!

Hey peeps :)

Haven’t typed a theme-less, don't-know-where-this-is-going update blog in a while.


Today is the day.
 

Perks of the day: day off from ministry, and I watched 2 movies, had a couch all to myself, spent absolutely no cash, worked out, took the most refreshing cold shower, and had a great time at our prayer meeting.
 

I got asked if I’m good with commas (yes), and I’m currently mesmerized, watching ants devour the corpses of the bigger bugs I’ve killed a few minutes ago.
 

I enjoyed about 5 minutes of air-conditioning (whoa, treat).
 

My time in the Bible is amazing **still powering through chronologically… if you’re curious as to where I am, David’s just been anointed king of Israel – 1 Chron 12, 2 Sam 5, Psalm 107 ish**
 

God is teaching me so much in this journey, especially about patience and the things I thought I wanted. Much like last year, I got to my birthday and realized none of my plans were right.
 

That’s okay.

I’m serving the Lord!
 

I have around 7 months to make a decision of my “next step” and I know God has me by the hand. God is raising my standards and opening up my eyes to His power and His will for me. 
  

Way back when, I learned Jeremiah 29:11 at VBS and sang songs about God having plans for each person. Then I arrived in the “real world” and I bought into a different gospel:

Get this kind of job. Earn money. Buy stuff. Find love. Feel happy.

Trust in God, but… take matters into my own hands.

I didn’t really rely on God.

I prayed. I thanked Him.
Then I’d find myself in a pit, crying out.

He’d get me out. And repeat.

I’d sit back and wonder how on earth so many bad things could happen to me, oblivious to the fact I’d been making all those choices and putting myself in those situations.

Lo and behold, once I began submitting to God, my life started to change.

Not a “prosperity gospel” kind of change, but something similarly amazing:

Big changes seemed possible. Crazy stuff seemed possible. I did things I never thought were possible for me. Me, a missionary? I’m not good enough! I’m chosen? Seriously? How am I supposed to leave my family? They need me! 

Then I looked around and saw that God had relieved me from my burdens.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28

I came to Him and He truly gave me rest. Funny definition of rest, Lord!

He took away the burdens I’d put on myself. I was no longer in charge of helping my brother, as he was all set in college. I was no longer bound to my past.

I was ransomed.
 

Every relationship I tried to settle for crumbled.

God was determined to have His will in my life. I invited Him further. I asked for His intervention, and He answered. He’s faithful! He spared me from a lot of harm.

He has better things in mind, bigger things.

There’s more to go through so I can fully appreciate what’s to come. There are opportunities that only God will present. His hand will be all over it.

Meanwhile, I’m 25, serving the Lord as a missionary, and traveling the world with a backpack and a squad of 40 lunatics for Jesus.

I’m learning to appreciate the little things in life.
I’m finding contentment with my lot, my today.

I make jokes, watch bugs, and I’m good with commas.
I’m still a goofy weirdo.


The difference is that God’s word is sweet as dessert to me. I crave it. I love it. In His Word, He reveals to me why His plans are better, His ways are higher, and His timing is flawless. I truly trust Him. I humbly submit.
 

“Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.” Ps 107:15-16

It’s a good day to be free!
 

God bless yall! I miss yall. Can’t wait to see your faces, and hug you again. Pray for me, as I’m in a spiritually dark country, boldly bringing light.

 

Faithfully His,

Helena

Alive Alive Alive

I could write a psalm right now about how I feel.

Here I hold a mug of sweetened black coffee in my hands. The clothes hanging on the line sway gently to the breeze. I’m sitting on an air mattress in the pastor’s living room, surrounded by shoes (the family business), listening to my team leader play the guitar and sing praises to God. The birds are chirping loudly. I hear a few shutter clicks as a teammate attempts to capture these moments in pictures, and now I add to the noise with my best effort, to capture this in words.

I close my eyes and remember riding in the back of the pickup truck, standing up, holding the rails. I remember the wind on my face. The people here are beautiful. Hard lives, but they smile. I can relate to that.

Let everything that has breath praise You, Lord.

I have never felt so alive as I do in this moment.

Most people thought I was crazy to take this trip, at least at first. Here I am, in El Salvador, receiving affirmation from the Lord that He’s proud of me. This is exactly where He wants me. There is nowhere else I’d rather be. There’s no face I’d rather see than God’s face. No voice I’d rather hear but His. No words I’d rather read but His. He pursues me with unfailing love. I’m in love today.

I’m in love, and He loves me more than I’ll ever understand.

I used to ask God if there was anything left in me that was any good, anything left to give to anybody.

I realize I have more today than I ever had before.

I’ve been restored. I’ve been pursued. I’m worthy.

I am truly loved.

These are a few of my favorite things...

Brown paper packages tied up with strings? Nah...

These are a few of my favorite things...

go ahead and hit play, and read'em :)



Needtobreathe on a mellow day


Worship in a foreign language


When I can't escape the rain, that moment I just accept I'm getting soaked and start playing


Deep, roaring, belly-aching laughter


Hearing love stories, hope stories, healing, miracles


Evenings when I stay up because my human brain and heart can barely take in God's goodness and love for me


Times I think about my grandfather, cherish the memory of him, and the earth-shaking joy of seeing him again in heaven floods me


Thanksgiving food


Cake


Oh since I'm on food, beans and rice, baby!


Screaming at the tv when the team scores


When a new song starts and it's that song and everybody points at each other


My God's not dead, He's surely alive, and He's living on the inside, roaring like a lion!


When art captivates me


The colors of the sky


Laying on a blanket to watch the clouds on a windy day


Hammock and the stars


Dancing to silly songs


Scream-singing in the car... or anywhere when I'm feeling goofy


The shoulder-shimmy


When my friends ask me to make puns for them, and use my puns as album titles and cd titles


Remembering I will see God with my own eyes (Job 19:25-27)


Cooking for others


Unexpected, instantaneous, good surprises


Being told the Holy Spirit is visible inside me


Cold showers


Worship songs with any variation of the word "rise"


When my feet get dirty, and I wash them, and without fail, every single time, I think of Jesus and His humility


Run-on sentences, because I write how I speak


Knowing, even on a pretty bad day, that my Daddy in Heaven thinks I'm absolutely lovely


Hearing again and again the story about how I once drank shampoo when I was 3, and when I spoke bubbles would come out


Hugging my grandma


Awkwardness, especially if I can capture it in a picture


Coconut water


Homemade things


Laughing uncontrollably at my own jokes


Reading


Hearts busted open, poured out, surrendered


When Jesus saw her, he called her forward and said to her, "Woman, you are set free from your infirmity." Then he put his hands on her, and immediately she straightened up and praised God.- Luke 13:12-13


How the Word of God always hits me, and I love it, and I crave it


When Daddy gives me a new family called Team Tharros, and we automatically love and take care of each other


The wind on my face when I run


Affection


Remembering my Spongebob phase in high school... everything was Spongebob...


Holding a sleeping baby


Airports, airplanes, and airplane food


Tweeting absolute silliness, even though I know Pastor Dave follows me


Blind trust in my Daddy


Listening to testimonies


Walking into an elevator and smelling A&F Fierce ahhh


Freedom


Writing from my heart


Knowing he's waiting for me with the same anticipation for God's timing


Playing Guitar Hero/Rock Band drums


Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids


Sitting on the beach, watching the waves break

Knowing my church loves me this much


Bathroom humor


Taking pictures


You are my joy, You are my joy, You are my joy, You are my JOY!


My beautiful friends, who will undoubtedly keep up with me while I'm around the world


Having my old friends say "I know you've changed and that person isn't you anymore".... Thank You Lord


Listening to my various family members snore :)


Songs on repeat


Getting to meet El Salvadoreans and share the gospel of Christ in less than a month


Knowing these little things are blessings from the Lord and these listed are just a small glimpse of the thanksgiving in my heart and the way He has wired me. Thank You Daddy.

I Grew Today

I grew today.
Not in height or girth (girth is a funny word to me) but in faith.
I grew in trust.
I died a little more, and it wasn't any fun.
I felt like a weirdo, and uncomfortable. Extreme. Rash. Silly, even.
Yet, I'd do it again without hesitation. Do I hope I don't have to? Yes!
But if it comes up again, I will be a weirdo again.

I'm a 24-year-old single woman. I am getting to see and talk to many people from my childhood, and several of which are my friends from elementary school. A few of us hung out and had dinner as a group.
Then what innocently started as a continuation of keeping in touch became the making of plans to hang out again with one of said friends.

Dun dun dun: alone.

Oh boy.

This should have struck my uh oh radar right off the bat, but it didn't.
Yes, I'm that silly of a dodo, that I didn't see any issue with this until I gave it thought.
Honestly, I hadn't even given it thought! Two friends hanging out, no big deal.

Then the questions started popping up from my family:
"Who is that?" "What does he do?" "Oh? He asked you out?" "Where are you guys going?" "Do you like him?"

ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding ding goes my uh oh radar


No! We are friends, from school! 

Here arises the age-old debate "can a man and a woman be just friends in such a setting?"


Nope.

Call me a weirdo, an extremist, a silly person, but I say nay. I no longer hang out one-on-one with opposite sex friends. No siree bob. No can do. Not even if they knew me when my bangs were ridiculous.

So I wrote a lame "sorry to flake on you, but it's not a good idea for me to hang out outside of a group setting, you're more than invited when an event arises in a group setting" note and I'm feeling really old-fashioned and odd.

Who would have thought I could do this?
Walk away from a date setting, to honor my single season?

Thank You Daddy, for giving me strength and room to grow.

It's okay that I feel silly and extreme, for Your glory.

I trust You blindly with my heart.

I trust Your timing, Your plans, and Your calling for me.

I love You more than words can say.

When it rains...

IT POURS!!!!!

I am so incredibly overwhelmed with joy today. Holy Lord Almighty and Good!

Allow me to count these blessings!! Let's stick with chronological order, because I'm not facebook :)

1) woke up on time & got ready in peace (trust me, such a blessing)
2) watched the SUNRISE as I drove to work
3) got to sing my current favorite song because it came on the radio "Times" by Tenth Avenue North
4) put in my notice at work that I'll be quitting on dec 9 and it was well-received! *PRRRAAAISE*
5) oh oh and I got my launch date, no big deal. I'm LEAVING ON JANUARY 10TH :)
6) My aunt and grandma are here from Brazil! I get to see them and visit with them for a whole week!
7) I am getting to see a lot of amazing people this weekend. Halleluyerrrrr
8) I am getting to baptize one of my best friends. What a joy what a joy.
9) I realize that I fall deeper and deeper in love with Jesus like... every single day.
10) It's Friday, Friday, getting down on Friday... and now it's weekend time :)

If I kept going, I'd waste my weekend in front of a screen.

I love you, reader!
God bless you :)

Immeasurably More

"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us, to Him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21


I can tell you this morning that God has been doing immeasurably more than all I asked or imagined in my life.

I am being encouraged and prayed for by more people than I ever thought possible.


God has provided a home church that not only loves me, but wants to send me as a missionary and support me.


My heart is so full of compassion right now. I'm ready to share His love with others.


The Lord has been equipping me and teaching me more about the gifts He's given me.


God has brought somebody into my life who is very very special. I got to hear from him again today. What a joy.


I saw the sun rise over the ocean this morning, and I felt a renewed sense of peace that He's at work for me, for my good, and that I need to rest in this peace. Everything will come together. He reassured me with Exodus 14:14 "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still."


God is so faithful. I'm overwhelmed by His grace in my life.
You know well, dear friends and family, that I've gone through really terrible hardships, for the glory of God.


Had I not gone through those trials, I'd never understand or come to trust in Jesus like I do now. "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." James 1:2-4


"As you know, we consider blessed those who have persevered. You have heard of Job's perseverance and have seen what the Lord finally brought about. The Lord is full of compassion and mercy." James 5:11


Because He is so compassionate and merciful, He made the twisted roads lead to where I am today.


Right here, I'm SO happy. I know trying times will come again, but wow. In this glorious morning, my heart is full. I can feel His hand leading me through. I trust His beautiful timeline.  I praise Him wholeheartedly.


I cried tears of joy this morning, for the glory of God.
My Creator has plans to prosper me, not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. It no longer matters to me whether these plans have anything to do with what I hoped for myself, because I trust that the Creator of my heart knows what I need and will continue to do immeasurably more for me than I can ask or imagine, for His glory.

Irony

No, this isn't a post about blood! Although blood is iron-y.
Irony... I think it's almost funny now. To be completely wrong :) God always wins. 

♥  That a long and arduous chain of events would lead to something extremely lovely!
♥  That as soon as I say "no way, not me" God says "my way, yes you"
♥  That I say "I'm finally content!" and God throws me an epic curve ball.
♥  That in losing everything, God secured my victory.
♥  That the only way to become more patient is by waiting.
♥  That silence speaks volumes.
♥  That the Lord will call on the most afraid to be warriors.
♥  That trusting in His timing means surrendering my deadlines.
♥  That He disciplines with hardship, but blesses with simplicity.
♥  Last but not least, the more I give up control, the more He kindly reveals to me.



Oh the things I know now... I smile from ear to ear!!!!
He really cares :)

Thank you, merciful Savior.


I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God; I myself will see him with my own eyes--I, and not another. How my heart yearns within me! -Job 19:25-27

few more days... just a few more days....