Here I hold a mug of sweetened black coffee in my hands. The clothes hanging on the line sway gently to the breeze. I’m sitting on an air mattress in the pastor’s living room, surrounded by shoes (the family business), listening to my team leader play the guitar and sing praises to God. The birds are chirping loudly. I hear a few shutter clicks as a teammate attempts to capture these moments in pictures, and now I add to the noise with my best effort, to capture this in words.
I close my eyes and remember riding in the back of the pickup truck, standing up, holding the rails. I remember the wind on my face. The people here are beautiful. Hard lives, but they smile. I can relate to that.
Let everything that has breath praise You, Lord.
I have never felt so alive as I do in this moment.
Most people thought I was crazy to take this trip, at least at first. Here I am, in El Salvador, receiving affirmation from the Lord that He’s proud of me. This is exactly where He wants me. There is nowhere else I’d rather be. There’s no face I’d rather see than God’s face. No voice I’d rather hear but His. No words I’d rather read but His. He pursues me with unfailing love. I’m in love today.
I’m in love, and He loves me more than I’ll ever understand.
I used to ask God if there was anything left in me that was any good, anything left to give to anybody.
I realize I have more today than I ever had before.
I’ve been restored. I’ve been pursued. I’m worthy.
I am truly loved.
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