It's a good day to be free!

Hey peeps :)

Haven’t typed a theme-less, don't-know-where-this-is-going update blog in a while.


Today is the day.
 

Perks of the day: day off from ministry, and I watched 2 movies, had a couch all to myself, spent absolutely no cash, worked out, took the most refreshing cold shower, and had a great time at our prayer meeting.
 

I got asked if I’m good with commas (yes), and I’m currently mesmerized, watching ants devour the corpses of the bigger bugs I’ve killed a few minutes ago.
 

I enjoyed about 5 minutes of air-conditioning (whoa, treat).
 

My time in the Bible is amazing **still powering through chronologically… if you’re curious as to where I am, David’s just been anointed king of Israel – 1 Chron 12, 2 Sam 5, Psalm 107 ish**
 

God is teaching me so much in this journey, especially about patience and the things I thought I wanted. Much like last year, I got to my birthday and realized none of my plans were right.
 

That’s okay.

I’m serving the Lord!
 

I have around 7 months to make a decision of my “next step” and I know God has me by the hand. God is raising my standards and opening up my eyes to His power and His will for me. 
  

Way back when, I learned Jeremiah 29:11 at VBS and sang songs about God having plans for each person. Then I arrived in the “real world” and I bought into a different gospel:

Get this kind of job. Earn money. Buy stuff. Find love. Feel happy.

Trust in God, but… take matters into my own hands.

I didn’t really rely on God.

I prayed. I thanked Him.
Then I’d find myself in a pit, crying out.

He’d get me out. And repeat.

I’d sit back and wonder how on earth so many bad things could happen to me, oblivious to the fact I’d been making all those choices and putting myself in those situations.

Lo and behold, once I began submitting to God, my life started to change.

Not a “prosperity gospel” kind of change, but something similarly amazing:

Big changes seemed possible. Crazy stuff seemed possible. I did things I never thought were possible for me. Me, a missionary? I’m not good enough! I’m chosen? Seriously? How am I supposed to leave my family? They need me! 

Then I looked around and saw that God had relieved me from my burdens.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matt 11:28

I came to Him and He truly gave me rest. Funny definition of rest, Lord!

He took away the burdens I’d put on myself. I was no longer in charge of helping my brother, as he was all set in college. I was no longer bound to my past.

I was ransomed.
 

Every relationship I tried to settle for crumbled.

God was determined to have His will in my life. I invited Him further. I asked for His intervention, and He answered. He’s faithful! He spared me from a lot of harm.

He has better things in mind, bigger things.

There’s more to go through so I can fully appreciate what’s to come. There are opportunities that only God will present. His hand will be all over it.

Meanwhile, I’m 25, serving the Lord as a missionary, and traveling the world with a backpack and a squad of 40 lunatics for Jesus.

I’m learning to appreciate the little things in life.
I’m finding contentment with my lot, my today.

I make jokes, watch bugs, and I’m good with commas.
I’m still a goofy weirdo.


The difference is that God’s word is sweet as dessert to me. I crave it. I love it. In His Word, He reveals to me why His plans are better, His ways are higher, and His timing is flawless. I truly trust Him. I humbly submit.
 

“Let them give thanks to the LORD for his unfailing love and his wonderful deeds for men, for he breaks down gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron.” Ps 107:15-16

It’s a good day to be free!
 

God bless yall! I miss yall. Can’t wait to see your faces, and hug you again. Pray for me, as I’m in a spiritually dark country, boldly bringing light.

 

Faithfully His,

Helena

Numbers: come to your census

I thought having Leviticus punch me in the gut was bad…

I moved on to Numbers, thinking, “surely I won’t learn much here”

But again, I was schooled.

God loves numbers. He loves counting. He loves measuring. God is super good at math. I think it’s safe to say God did whisper to me the answers in Calculus when I prayed those desperate prayers before tests. 

God promises to rescue us, a lot. 

Oh and God loves to party. He likes it when we have fun, aka rejoice. 

God also loved rules back when… phew. Lots of special rules and hoops to jump through, and He made sure to communicate allllllllll of them to Moses. 

Reading Numbers, I learned a lot. I learned that I should never beat a donkey. I also learned that if a donkey ever speaks reason into me, I’m probably the one acting like a… ahem… donkey. And that people who beat donkeys end up dying by sword wound a few chapters later. 

I learned that God hates it when we reject His plan for us, especially over food preferences. I definitely had a peanut butter heart check.

God says “I am giving you the service of ____________ as a gift” in Chapter 18… serving God is a God-given gift! Thank You, Lord, for redundancy and grace!

Back in the day, God solved impatience with venomous snakes. Thank You Jesus, for sparing me from the snakes. 

I learned that one does not simply walk into Edom. If you get this reference, you are a very special breed and I love you so much. 

God loves musicals… People are always bursting into song in the Bible, even in the most random places. It adds to my amusement when I sing the songs in my own weird way. (Sidenote: if I’m reading a book by a British author, I read it with a Brit accent in my head [I kid you not!] and you should have seen me smiling while reading a book by KP Yohannan, who is from India, because [yep, you guessed it] I read it with an Indian accent in my head. I should probably add the note here that when the donkey spoke in Chapter 22, I read it with the same accent as the donkey in Shrek… and it was super funny.) I should probably make a video of me singing the Song of Moses hahaha I am ridiculous sometimes, I do acknowledge this. I think it makes Jesus laugh, so I keep on :]

So Moses and Aaron screw up big time. They disobey God and lose out on the promise land. Total bummer. 

Miriam gets leprosy for a week because she ran her mouth. Seriously, guys, we should be SO thankful for Christ. Can you imagine getting leprosy for talking some smack? We would go bananas.

Then in the end of Numbers, God has the Israelites run another census after the plagues and the battles and the epic sinner smite-a-thon that took place. 

They count all the people, they count lots of gold. 

I, in turn, counted my blessings.

Bible-In-A-Year Discipline

 (((((disclaimer, I'm already over halfway in Numbers, but when I wrote this, I was still in Leviticus!!)))))

Yeah okay so sometimes I just straight-up don’t feel like reading Leviticus.
I’m weird enough that I do have times when I enjoy it and crave it. I crave the weirdness and the awkward laws. I want to hear about the sprinkling blood and the fat wave offerings and how they determined if somebody was “unclean” from an infectious skin disease.

I’m not legalistic enough to feel bad if I don’t read the 3 or so chapters of LEVITICUS every single day, just because it’s on my reading list.
I’m reading the Bible chronologically, and I gotta be honest, with travel days and crazy outings and brand new ministries left and right… I’m behind.
I’m supposed to start Numbers today. I still have 13 chapters left in Leviticus.
Have I read every single day? You bet. I love it. But sometimes I need different food. Something other than Leviticus. Sometimes I need Micah, or Philippians. Sometimes I need Isaiah, or Jude.

We as Christians get really really down on ourselves when we set goals and don’t pull through. I want to encourage anybody who’s on any kind of “schedule” Bible reading plan, whether it was a New Year resolution or a random whim of zealous obedience. If you get behind, chin up. Enjoy God’s word. It’s not homework. It’s not a chore. It is such a gift and privilege to be able to read the Word of God.
The minute you catch yourself panicking or dreading the scheduled reading, you need a heart check.

Why are you reading?
To know God more. To have God reveal Himself to you in a new way.

I can tell you a few reasons why you’re not reading…
You’re not reading to earn Pharisee points.
You’re not reading to prove to God (or yourself) how disciplined you are. Let’s get real. He knows how many hairs are on your head. He knows you fall short, so there’s no point kidding yourself there.
You’re not reading to memorize the entire Bible, unless you want to be like Denzel in The Book of Eli. Good luck if you are, praying for you when you get to Leviticus, just saying.
You’re not reading the WORD OF GOD because you HAVE TO.
Ironically, if you do read the Word of God, you realize that there’s nothing that you have to do besides have faith in Christ.
Everything you do now is in response to the love in your heart. Yes, this includes seeking God’s face.

Seek His face. Seek it in song. Seek it in prayer. Seek it in the Word.

If you get behind on your readings, there’s lots and lots of grace. You don’t suck as a Christian because you’re reading chapter 14 instead of chapter 27. Daddy knows your heart.
Have the discipline to seek His face. Chin up when your reading plans don’t match up to reality.

God doesn’t love you any extra when you go through checklists and have a productive day than He does when you have a hard, distracting day and get behind the schedule.

The most important thing is to seek His face. Ask for His presence no matter what the circumstances. I can assure you, there’s plenty of grace.
Christians are the most victorious, joyous, hopeful people alive.
We are guaranteed eternal bliss.
There is no reason for a child of God to ever feel defeated.

Your Daddy in Heaven is proud of you because you have the righteousness of Christ, not because you managed to read 3 chapters a day. God’s unconditional love for you is not wagered on your performance.
Thank God  for that, because we fall so short.
Thank You God for grace, for bearing with us, and for Leviticus!

And here is a cheesy high school senior picture of me with my Bible, for comedic purposes! Enjoy hahaha!!!

Rising

Do not rejoice over me, my enemy!
Though I have fallen, I will rise.
Though I sit in darkness, the LORD will be my light. -Micah 7:8

You, O LORD, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light.
With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall.
As for God, his way is perfect; the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield for all who take refuge in him.
For who is God besides the LORD?
And who is the Rock except our God?
It is God who arms me with strength and makes my way perfect.
He makes my feet like the feet of a deer; he enables me to stand on the heights.
He trains my hands for battle; my arms can bend a bow of bronze.
You give me your shield of victory, and your right hand sustains me; you stoop down to make me great.
You broaden the path beneath me, so that my ankles do not turn. -Psalm 18: 28-36

I’m a total winner.

Yep, I said it. I win!

I win, because I’m choosing God’s best. 

Sometimes life doesn’t really have to make sense. My choices may not look logical from the outside, but take heart. God has everything under control. He is sovereign. I am on His perfect path. I’m His daughter, royal, chosen, special, and lovely. I’m fully armed. I’m strong. I’m clothed with strength and dignity. I can laugh at the days to come. I bring good, not harm, all the days of my life. 

I am not just surviving this season anymore; I am thriving!

I feel like pumping my fist in the air and screaming on furniture.

I rebuke getting blind-sided. I rebuke the spiritual sucker punches.

Though I have fallen, I will rise… I receive that!

Smile is back on, I’m officially laughing for no reason again.

The LORD lives! Praise be to my Rock! Exalted be God my Savior! -Psalm 18:46

Who Am I??

It’s been a while I’ve posted on here, so I figured I’d give it a go.

Most of my journey is getting documented in my world race blog, so take note =]

I did say I would try my hardest to keep this blog going, so here’s what I’ve got going on personally.

I don’t even know what day it is anymore. Who am I?

I no longer desire the things I wanted before.

My heart has changed. My mind is new. Transformed. My plan is no longer appealing. Money? House? The marriage I desired isn’t even enough. The kids I wanted and envisioned aren’t the ones God has in mind for me. My expectations have been shattered. Bettered. 

God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. 

That’s my new song. My dream. My desire. My banner lifted high.

I trust You. I trust You. I trust You. 

And no, my life isn’t gonna suck. It’ll be like a surprise every day. Here I thought I hated surprises, the same way I hated bananas. Up til now. Up til today. They’re still not my favorite, but I am learning to delight in them. Who am I? I ate a banana today and I enjoyed it. I also admitted that I enjoy surprises. What’s next? Raisins?? Prunes?? Will I no longer panic when I’m being tickled? Who am I?

What’s next? I don’t have to know! I know there’ll be joy. I know I’m taken care of. My heart is thankful. I sing new songs to God. I give Him glory. Keep fixing me and molding me, Lord. I want to be more like You are and less and less like me. Who am I?

I don’t want to recognize myself.

I want to be made new. 

I don’t wanna know who I am. I want to know who You made me to be.

My past is redeemed. I give You my present. My future is Your will. Your will. Your will. 

I died to myself.

Yet I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.

It’s Christ in me. Christ lives in me. He lives. 

He’s alive, and I’m free.

Honor

Greetings, faithful followers!
It is I, again, Helena.
Surprised? I hope not. I'm feeling a bit kooky tonight, hence my random babble. Ahem.
I wanted to write a serious blog about the situaysh here in El Salvador.
It is official that I'm pretty much the translator all the time. My brain doth hurteth from thinking so hard... all the time. I did consider having a jibber jabber day where I just translate nonsensical words, but I figured since I'm constantly translating sermons and testimonies, it wouldn't fly. It would be funny to take a main repetitive word out of the sermon, and just sub it with "pupusa" and see how it goes. "The Lord wants to have a pupusa with you. You don't have to work for this, God loves you and wants you to have a pupusa with Him." ahh sacrilege smackrilege. I realize that in a room full of people, nobody would understand how funny that would be unless they spoke both English AND Spanish... so I'd be laughing alone... as always.

A pupusa, by the way, is a tortilla filled with beans and cheese, and sometimes meat. It is pretty much what is eaten in El Salvador for breakfast and dinner. Funny fact: it is considered crazy and very weird to eat pupusas for LUNCH. They're okay for breakfast and dinner, but lunch? Not a chance. What are we, obsessed with them or something? What message would that send to the children? El Salvador believes in balance and moderation. Pupusas are good for 2/3 meals only.


Another thing I feel special and odd about, which is the original intent of this blog (ahh now I'm gettin' round to it!) is the missionary table.
This thing happens to us, and it's humbling and odd in equal parts.
We are received as special honored guests everywhere we go. We go to preach somewhere, or to do kids ministry, or to share testimonies, and after we do so.... people clear out, chairs get moved and stacked, and out of nowhere 2 tables show up, and we are served a meal right then and there where we were just preaching. Often literally where we were preaching. The meal is prepared especially for us. We are the only ones eating that food while everybody else kinda watches. They pour us beverages and assorted juices (today's juice was cantaloupe, delicious) and serve us either different food (better food) than everyone else gets, or we are the only ones fed, right in the middle of the action.

perfect example... notice the children bystanders

To them it is an HONOR to feed us. An HONOR to host us. They fill us to the brim, then somebody announces they'd like the honor of having us in their home for coffee and cookies. So we go, and sing praise songs in their home and pray over them, and get fed cookies and coffee with so much affection. It's like they see Jesus when they look at us, and they want to bless us as much as possible. God is watching all this, with a huge smile on His face. They get it. They really get it. "Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto Me." and they do... they do a lot. They seize the blessing to serve us. 

We had a lady lead us into the woods with a machete, chopping down HUGE wild flowers and giving them to us. She led us through her corn fields and to a place we could swim. She then fed us corn with lime and salt (best new way to eat corn, sorry butter) and gave us little chubby bananas.... which I must admit tasted really really good.

<<sidenote: I hate bananas. I know, I know, how can I call myself Brazilian and hate bananas? That's preposterous... so I took on a challenge: eat a banana in every country, see if I can conquer this tastebud debacle... El Salvador bananas are... gooey but good.>> 


I hope that if I can take anything from this month it is this: what an HONOR to serve those who serve the Lord. To open up a home, to serve a meal, to encourage them. What an HONOR that is to these people, and to God's people. It humbles me every single day. Their kids give us candy. Are you serious?!!! I was raised pretty well, but you couldn't get me to give any candy to strangers. No way, Jose! Even their kiddos know that giving is a blessing to seize. What an HONOR to be in El Salvador, serving them and being served even more.

Little Update

Hey yall :)
Here's a short update on my life!

I'm still in El Salvador!
Thus far I've preached twice, shared bits of my testimony to a church a couple of times, and done some major crazy dancing to amuse the kiddos here. I learned how to make a balloon dog, and I'm excited to attempt more random balloon artistry (insert dry humor here).
I'm finishing Acts tomorrow, and praying about what God wants me to read next.

Be in prayer for me and my heart. I've been feeling more confident with ministry, yet feeling really insecure in my personal life. I honestly wish God would just tell me the plan, but that's not how He works most of the time. Lord knows I gotta work on my patience and just trust Him, and that's exactly what's happening right now. Also pray for me to be more perceptive of my team and their needs.
I praise God for these character-building situations, but prayer is appreciated :)

Love and miss you guys!
Blessings,

Helena

Anxiously Confident

I'm a jumbly mess of awesome feelings.
Today we got to do ministry with kiddos and it was precious. I wouldn't have minded taking 3 or 4 of them with me for good. I got to watch them destroy a pinata and chase after our truck. I made my first balloon animal, and it looked nearly unrecognizable but little Avi seemed pleased with the dog balloon. Let's just say there is room for improvement ;]
Here's a pic from this morning, with a few kiddos!

Then we went to do door-to-door ministry, and it was tough. Hands-down everybody's favorite.... pause NOT! I don't mind speaking Spanish, but today it felt like my brain was fighting it. I was fishing for words like craaaazy, couldn't seem to get my words right. I kept speaking Portuguese.... kinda funny thinking back to it :) but not at the time! The lady we went with would say "hello brother/sister, this here is a missionary and she has a word for you!" and then everyone would turn and look at me expectantly. No pressure! It's aight, I mean God put me here and if I weren't ready for this, it wouldn't have happened. From my teammate's perspective, I did well. His encouragement really perked me up. Thank the Lord that our translator isn't sick anymore, so I can back off the Spanish crash course a little tiny bit! Phew!

Worked with the youth tonight, and they are so sweet. We sat around for  a while and talked, mostly about movies. We did a lot of quoting Monty Python... well Caitlin and I quoted Monty Python, while everybody else stared awkwardly hahaha oh well majority of people either haven't seen the movies or don't get why they're funny. I praise the Lord for my random crazy sense of humor. I refuse to compromise it lol.

After much troubleshooting, the youth group watched a super random movie in Spanish about a guy who falls away from the Lord and into a life of debauchery and illicit drug usage... then, when a drug deal goes bad (don't they always?!), he gets shot, then paralyzed, then he rehabs his way into walking again and renounces his old sinful ways, and shares a pitcher of koolaid with his younger sibling! Outstanding acting and cinematography for a late 80's movie, let me tell you! Very touching, despite the overdose of acid wash jeans/jeggings. My teammate appreciated my random English dubbing skills, she was laughing pretty hard. "No, I'm sorry, your hair is too big!" "but I'm a great influence on you!" "okay, I'll date you...but I'm not buying you jewelry!" "deal."

We climbed back in the van and I successfully smashed my left big toe with a metal folding seat. It's no longer numb but it is swelling. I'm glad my nail polish is purple, because I don't want to know what it looks like underneath my nail. I'm happy to report I took it like a man.

We went to a pizzeria and ate a ton. We even made a song for Travis, who is like a bottomless pit when it comes to eating. We took a JDH song that goes "You are an endless ocean, a bottomless sea.... there's no end to the affection You have for me" and turned it into "you have an endless stomach, a bottomless pit, there's no end to your intestines, travis lee!" haha just appreciate that. Really. Appreciate that, because it's humor at its best.

Then..... we got home and there was an iguana stuck in the pastor's truck's dashboard. Yes, iguana #2. Here's a pic of iguana #1, rip, ex-boyfriend!

Totally normal and predictable World Race business. I mean, who has a normal life anymore? So I got to film the retrieval of tomorrow's lunch meat, and then hold the thing by the tail. CRAY CRAY! I will hopefully get to eat iguana for lunch tomorrow...

I got to kill lots of bugs today, also, which makes me happy.



I got to see my D squad girls on Skype tonight! Amanda and Brittany just bring joy to my heart. It was therapeutic to see their smiling faces and hear their voices. I am so encouraged.

I'm making my way through Acts. I started yesterday and I'm hoping to finish tomorrow. It just sheds new light to be on a mission trip, reading Acts all the way through. I'm pumped for all the growth in the Word this year. Epic growth.

So that's my day... my crazy Saturday... I find myself anxiously confident, bringing my requests to my Daddy in Heaven and finding an overwhelming peace within me about the plans He has for me. His timing and His sovereignty are perfect. His mercies are new every morning.

Out of Control

Hey Helena, wanna preach tomorrow? Yeah, okay!
That's what I was told yesterday :)

I spent the remainder of the day yesterday praying about what it is that the Lord wanted me to say to this church here in El Salvador.
I even dared to ask that God would show me in a dream or something cray cray what it is that He needed me to share.

It didn't come to me in a dream (the only dream I had in El Salvador was about a really bad date? I went on a date with somebody... don't even know who! And I didn't have time to shower, and I wore a dress fished out of the dirty laundry basket, and I arrived late, and turns out it was some kind of nightmare setting because another girl showed up and they both walked ahead of me the whole time.............. I even dream awkward situations)

So I kept praying that the Lord would show me what He needed me to say and it became very simple, all of a sudden: preach the gospel.
Boom.
Just the gospel. Simple. Yeah okay, can do.

One little problem: my spanish is like a one-way street.
I hear it, understand it, I can mimic it like a little parrot.
Speaking it, however, is REALLY HARD!

I give full glory to God for the events of this evening. I wrote the sermon, had about 4 pages in my journal filled up with my terrible handwriting, bordering the previous doodles that occupied the page. Cartoon lion: check!

I had about 6 places in the Bible to read scripture from, so all the people who love to flip through the Bible as quickly as possible could get something from the sermon. (I'm one of those people hahaha)

I focused on baby food. No, that wasn't my topic AT ALL, but I wanted to make my message as "beginner friendly" as possible. You see, Christians get a lot of sermons. Mature Christians love church, and they come to church, and they understand the stuff. I wanted to preach the good news to the people who don't know what church is all about.

I started out talking about how this trip is kinda dangerous, and there are risks coming to these countries and diseases we could acquire. I talked about how people thought I was crazy when I told them about all this, and that they're right: I'm crazy :) I'm crazy about Jesus.
I told them I wasn't afraid of dying. I shared with them scripture in Hebrews about being free from the fear of death. I told them that the message of Jesus Christ is more important than my life. I told them that I'd rather die than not try to share the message with them and their children. I shared the gospel. I told them about the lies that Satan tells us, and overwhelmed them in TRUTH. I listed some scripture that had to do with truth, and to constantly encourage one another in truth. I had them turn to the person on the right and the left and tell them "you are precious, powerful, and loved" :) it was awesome to see them do it. I asked them to take some time to think about what the cross means to them.
It was beautiful to see the truth in the church. Their faces when I said that they are free in Christ. To watch their faces go from the concern that the lies brought to the smiles that the truth brought. I told them that the truth is so nice to hear, and we should say it more often, remind each other each day, like scripture says.
Animense! I said, over and over until they smiled :) Laughing. I saw laughter in the church. People who worshiped with serious faces were laughing.
I told them that they needed to believe the word of God over satan's lies.
I closed my sermon with 2 Cor 5:7-6:2...... I told them the gospel, again. Then I quoted Romans 10 and led them through a salvation prayer and an altar call. I turned off my microphone and went to stand by my team. The pastor prayed, and asked if anybody would like to come forth to make their decision public, and to my astonishment a young man walked up to the front.

no... seriously....... I preached the words that God gave me..... and a young man came to know the Lord tonight.

Praise be to my Father in Heaven, who used me tonight to bring a son to eternal life. Only God knows if there were others who prayed silently in their hearts, but I am just so humbled that my broken Spanish made sense to someone enough to bring them to the cross. My Daddy in Heaven LOVES me so much. It felt like my birthday today, with my hands raised in worship, standing aside watching the young man pray a salvation prayer.

My teammate said I spoke for about 30 minutes. With no translator. In Spanish.

My first sermon!

I received some amazing feedback from my team, just encouraging me and speaking life into me, telling me I did a good job. The pastor told me it was a good sermon, and I had several people in the church come tell me how blessed they were. One lady laid hands on me and prayed blessings over me, and, in tears, told me that she will remember this message in her heart. I am humbled beyond humbled.

God is so good to me. He used me for His Kingdom.
I am living to give Him glory, and my Daddy was glorified tonight.
I praise Him for the opportunity to do this crazy awesome trip. To be in a bunk bed right now, in a room with 4 other people, sharing a bed with another night owl, living out of a backpack in El Salvador, writing this run-on sentence in my blog. My life is anything but boring or average.
My God is out of control :)

Alive Alive Alive

I could write a psalm right now about how I feel.

Here I hold a mug of sweetened black coffee in my hands. The clothes hanging on the line sway gently to the breeze. I’m sitting on an air mattress in the pastor’s living room, surrounded by shoes (the family business), listening to my team leader play the guitar and sing praises to God. The birds are chirping loudly. I hear a few shutter clicks as a teammate attempts to capture these moments in pictures, and now I add to the noise with my best effort, to capture this in words.

I close my eyes and remember riding in the back of the pickup truck, standing up, holding the rails. I remember the wind on my face. The people here are beautiful. Hard lives, but they smile. I can relate to that.

Let everything that has breath praise You, Lord.

I have never felt so alive as I do in this moment.

Most people thought I was crazy to take this trip, at least at first. Here I am, in El Salvador, receiving affirmation from the Lord that He’s proud of me. This is exactly where He wants me. There is nowhere else I’d rather be. There’s no face I’d rather see than God’s face. No voice I’d rather hear but His. No words I’d rather read but His. He pursues me with unfailing love. I’m in love today.

I’m in love, and He loves me more than I’ll ever understand.

I used to ask God if there was anything left in me that was any good, anything left to give to anybody.

I realize I have more today than I ever had before.

I’ve been restored. I’ve been pursued. I’m worthy.

I am truly loved.