Who Am I??

It’s been a while I’ve posted on here, so I figured I’d give it a go.

Most of my journey is getting documented in my world race blog, so take note =]

I did say I would try my hardest to keep this blog going, so here’s what I’ve got going on personally.

I don’t even know what day it is anymore. Who am I?

I no longer desire the things I wanted before.

My heart has changed. My mind is new. Transformed. My plan is no longer appealing. Money? House? The marriage I desired isn’t even enough. The kids I wanted and envisioned aren’t the ones God has in mind for me. My expectations have been shattered. Bettered. 

God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. 

That’s my new song. My dream. My desire. My banner lifted high.

I trust You. I trust You. I trust You. 

And no, my life isn’t gonna suck. It’ll be like a surprise every day. Here I thought I hated surprises, the same way I hated bananas. Up til now. Up til today. They’re still not my favorite, but I am learning to delight in them. Who am I? I ate a banana today and I enjoyed it. I also admitted that I enjoy surprises. What’s next? Raisins?? Prunes?? Will I no longer panic when I’m being tickled? Who am I?

What’s next? I don’t have to know! I know there’ll be joy. I know I’m taken care of. My heart is thankful. I sing new songs to God. I give Him glory. Keep fixing me and molding me, Lord. I want to be more like You are and less and less like me. Who am I?

I don’t want to recognize myself.

I want to be made new. 

I don’t wanna know who I am. I want to know who You made me to be.

My past is redeemed. I give You my present. My future is Your will. Your will. Your will. 

I died to myself.

Yet I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.

It’s Christ in me. Christ lives in me. He lives. 

He’s alive, and I’m free.