Overflows

I praise You! Not only do You provide, but my cup overflows. I can’t keep it inside, and it spills over onto my cheeks. I cry so easily! I praise You, God.
Praise You, that this time these are happy tears.
I’ve still got a lot to learn about joy, about thankfulness, and while I've praised You in the hard times, my God, how beautiful and lovely it is to be able to praise You now, when my heart is so full.
I didn’t doubt it would come... but this is more than I had imagined. Thank You, Father.
Now to try to sleep.
Calm me down.
Oh how loved I am and how I love You, my God.

Love Remains

Despite feelings, moods, circumstances, temporary troubles, miscommunications, and doubts, one thing remains... Love. It's a strong, stubborn, beautiful, steady, willful, often blind choice. It sticks. It fights. It wins. 

Love conquers fear. 
Love conquers everything. 
Love is there regardless. 
Love sees every flaw but says "I'm bigger." 
Love withstands rejection and betrayal. 
It brushes the dirt off and gets back up. 
Love doesn't shrink back when things get tough. 
Love handles pain bravely. 
Love is confident through uncertainty. 
Love stays constant when feelings falter. 
Love instantly forgives. 
Love has long forgotten the wrongs. 
Love looks past the past, seizes the present, and guarantees the future. 
Love goes through hell with eyes focused on heaven. 
Love is no matter what, no matter when, no matter how. 
Love is. 
Love will always be.

Love is a gift from God. He taught it to us.
We've tarnished it with our conditions.
God shows us His unfailing love, and with all my heart I want my love to never fail.
So help me God, it won't.

I love you and I always will

Perception of Time

I was thinking deeply about how different my perception of time is now versus oh say back in high school.
I used to be busy busy all the time, having my hand in every cookie jar, juggling school, work, friends, sports, band, one-act play, every club imaginable, volunteering, church, family, and a boyfriend. And days would FLY!

I remember back then I didn't have a real cell phone! When I did have one, it was a pre-paid emergency one, and texting had yet to become what it is today. It hadn't grown to be my out-of-body organ that it seems to be now. Sometimes I really miss those simpler days. I remember calling my friends' house phone and asking to speak to them. People were paranoid about "chat rooms" haha

Now time just ticks by rather slowly for me. I never thought I'd say this, but I have too much free time. I feel very selfish with it, and I'm on the brink of doing something big about it. God will show me exactly the way to go, but I have an inkling of an idea. Granted I am training for a marathon (my third!) and I do volunteer at a christian clinic once a month, I still feel this awful longing to give more of my time to God and to others. I've been pouring into other people's lives. I've been trying to be a better friend. I watch MUCH LESS tv than I used to during my first year out of college (yay!) and I don't feel the need to catch up on the billion shows I'm behind on. But now I also hold people very accountable for the passage of time. I notice this more closely than I ever have before.

This is where my patience hits me. I think I'm struggling with patience because I have too much time on my hands. This is a lesson God is slowly unraveling for me.
Since I can remember, I've always been the "I want it all, and I want it now" person. Having gone through the rollercoaster of affliction, I appreciate things SO much more. This last week I had some "woohoo" moments where... well.. I screamed "woohoo" like some kind of idiot but it felt fitting. Overwhelmed by joy. There are days when I think "life can't get any better than this" and sadly I conclude I was correct, that the next day is dreadfully plain compared to the previous. But every single day is a gift from my wonderful God, and my hope is to use each one wisely.

If I could have my time tallied up, I'd want "honoring God" to top facebook, and "doing things for others" to top "waiting on others to do something for me."  I want to be more thoughtful and less selfish. I want to bring good, not harm, all the days of my life :) I want to open my arms to the poor. I want to laugh at the days to come. Ahh I want all the "I want to"s to line up with what God wants me to do.

So now I think it's time for me to pray about this time thing. I'm 24 years old. He has me here, single for a purpose. What do you want me to do with my time, Lord? And where? Here am I :)

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Psalm 90:12