Anxious Mess

Ahh inspiration at last.


I do sometimes dread that this verse has been so overused and it is repeated so often that it loses its kick. I need it to kick me tonight. I need this verse to come alive again, like it did when I first heard it. I quickly memorized it.  I made it so common that it got pushed back, it lost importance. The one thing I struggle with the most and the one thing I need the most, and I've been overlooking these powerful words of God.


"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:6-7


As a Christian, I'm not supposed to be an anxious mess.

Anxious -  

1: characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency : worried 
2: characterized by, resulting from, or causing anxiety : worrying 
3: ardently or earnestly wishing 

 

 God says we're supposed to worry about NOTHING. and pray about EVERYTHING. when this anxiety arises... whether it's caused by fear or an ardent wish, that we're supposed to PRAY. 

 

If you DON'T pray about everything, you will be anxious!!!!!!!

 

Don't miss the part about thanksgiving. I've written about praising God, and being thankful because it is fitting. REGARDLESS of what's going on, we're supposed to keep in perspective that He's enough, and that He loves us so much. That is never going to change. That can always be the thanksgiving in prayers if I am so consumed with everything else, at least that much does not waver.   

 

Presenting our requests to God..... that part to me always made me think of psalm 139:4... "before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.".... well then what's the point of prayer if God already knows what I'm about to say? The point of prayer... is that you're building a relationship with God, you're trusting in God. Some churches have very structured prayer patterns, and in a huge way I think that interferes with the building of a PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP with God. You and I, we are very very important to God, individually. He didn't just throw us out here and stop caring. He cares and loves us deeply. If we are to pray about everything, then that means we're to share EVERYTHING with Him. Let Him into all areas of our lives. Not just at church, or when money's short or someone's sick, or you've royally dropped the ball. God wants us to be in constant conversation with Him (pray continually - 1 Thess 5:17) He wants us to CHOOSE to include Him, and submit every aspect of our lives to His will. 

 

Ultimately, our lives are not our own when we accept Christ. We lay ourselves down, we are born again by grace. All this STUFF that worries us just.... shouldn't. Not when you know you are empowered by God. Not when you trust that God is very much in control.

God's answer to worrying is to pray. If I'm worrying, I'm not praying enough.

 

God doesn't stop there. God is so amazing, that He gives us a guarantee to go with those instructions. He doesn't say He might, maybe, possibly give you peace. The peace of God WILL GUARD you. It will guard your two most important places, where that worry seeps into: the heart and the mind. 

 

Gosh if only I could turn off my brain sometimes. My mother says that I'm too smart and that's why I'm impatient, because I'm dynamic. I don't think so :) I think everyone struggles with trying to keep their minds from anxiety, and their hearts from that terribly vulnerable panic. My prayer tonight is simple. 

 

God, please please please help me to stop worrying, and instead focus on Jesus. I am so worried/anxious/ardently wishing about _______________ that it is consuming me. I need Your peace. I need it guarding my heart and my mind. I need to surrender control. I need to be in constant prayer with You. God I praise You for Your power. You know what is best for me. You will fulfill Your purpose for me. You have works prepared in advance for me to do. Hold on to me!! Don't let me stray!! Be that voice behind me guiding me. Thank You for Your unfailing love. Truly that's what my heart longs for... unfailing love. It's what my mind worries about... unfailing love. Let me be consumed with Yours, only. In Jesus Christ's wonderful name I pray.

Flashback to 2004 Part 2

written December 21, 2004 


if i ever come to love you, know this: i love all your flaws as well... your weaknesses may be so bad to you, so relevant, but perhaps if you take them away, you become less amazing, less human.  i will never find someone perfect.  perfection in my terms implies imperfection.  only God knows true perfection, and we all fall short.  so dont ever try to change to make someone love you, because they'll see right through you and you'll forget how to be yourself, and that knowledge, once lost, can only be found by reinventing.
i hope to someday find someone that matches a secret list i've written.  it seems so silly, so pointless, but this list should define a man that makes me happy.  i dont want anybody to ever change to fit this, because if that were to happen, it'd be like cheating.  i dont want a man that cheats on himself, cheats on his personality.  i want somebody that can be himself and that be enough.  is there anybody left that's real or are we all worms awaiting some kind of magical change to fit somebody's profile?
i promise you this: if i love a worm, i'll see a butterfly.

Flashback to 2004

This is an entry from my old blog and it made me smile. Funny how some things don't change =)

Thursday, August 12, 2004

Currently Playing Crashings By Falling Up Arafax Deep see related LiTtLe ThInGs I'm ThAnKfUl FoR  - When my day is so wonderful and I didn't expect it.  - When a friend calls.  - When I find gum or candy in the register drawer at work.  - When I see hohos at the candy machine at work.  - When my dogs think they're in trouble and they make the cutest faces.  - When someone else washes the dishes.  - When mom fills up my car with gas.  - The smell of matches after you blow them out.  - The pretty colors in the sky or neat-looking clouds.  - When my car is clean.  - When my car is dirty.  - When I have so many people in my car, we don't care if it's dirty or clean b/c we're having so much  fun.  - How water tastes so perfect after you run 4 miles in the heat.  - When an old friend talks to me.  - When I think life couldn't get any worse, and it doesn't  - When I sit and daydream about heaven.  - When my legs and hands hurt so much from playing on the swings in the playground with my high school friends.  - When it feels so good to fall asleep in that one boring English lecture, and I do, for an hour, and I dont get caught.  - When I think I'll never stop crying and then a friend cheers me up by talking in a girlish voice, or telling a fart joke.  - When you can say "Chubby Bunny" with 11 large marshmallows in your mouth, setting a new record.  - When you think you clicked the wrong link but you didn't, and it goes to the right page.  - When you mispronounce the name of your favorite chips and make a friend forever b/c it was just that funny.  - When you hang out with someone you've known forever but never really hung out with in person... and you have problems saying bye b/c they're so fun to be around.  - Abbreviations.  - Seeing your picture in a random page of the yearbook and yellin "hey there's me!"  - When I get so bored I plan my wedding in my head.  - When you think you lost something you can't live without, yet you realize you're 10 times stronger now that you're without it.  - When you realize you're doing the right thing in God's eyes, and that makes you feel soooooooo good.  - When I stand up and walk all the way to the front of the bus to stand up for my faith, going against my peers, but I didn't lose any friends.  - When you're sitting there praying and you can swear that Jesus is standing right next to you and you're scared to open your eyes b/c you'd see Him and He's too wonderful, and tears just pour out and suddenly everything's okay.  - When I feel the sunshine on my face and I think I'm getting sunburned but I dont.  - When I find clean socks without having to dig for them.  - When the dogs go outside instead of inside.  - Mitsy.  - My giant spongebob pillow.  - Having someone so very special smile at you... and you know right then and there that you'll never forget that moment.  - Knowing God showers you with little things and He just wants to make you happy and love you and have you with Him forever, in heaven. Reading this always cheers me up. Maybe b/c it's a list of good things... hmm nice huh? Yall should try writing one... it's really fun. " For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and spirit, of joints and marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart." Hebrews 4:12 ~Love~Peace~'n'~Music~

Hide and Seek

Count to a hundred,
Listen closely...
Don't peek, now!
The longer I count,
The further you go.
The rising panic.
A hundred? Seriously?
58, 59, 60...
I won't ever find you now!
98, 99, 100...
Ready or not,
Here I come!!
I run,
Out of breath,
Nearly hopeless.
Where could you be?
So many places to look!
I feel discouraged.
Then... like magic...
I hear a giggle!
I swivel to find
You hiding from me.
I smile a new smile.
I found you, I say.
And for a moment,
A brief second,
All is well in the world.
My turn, I scream,
Now you come find me!
Start counting,
And good luck.
I hide so well...
But I promise
I won't hide quietly.

I accept no less

I accept no less than His will for me

No more false hope

No more empty dreams

No more assuming what’s best

No more compromising for temporary

I desire no more than His will for me

Even if I don’t fit in

Even if it’s not my timeline

Even if He brings me to hardship

Even though it requires me to give up control

His will for me is all I want

He will provide for me

He will get me where He needs me

He will bring me what my heart needs

He will be my hiding place when I need one

He will be my source of strength

He will restore my life

He will listen kindly to my prayers

He will hold me when I’m frail

He will bless me abundantly

He will rejoice over me with singing

I will never doubt His power

I will put my hope and my trust in His unfailing love

O Praise Him

Praise the Lord
How good it is to sing praises to our God,
how pleasant and fitting to praise him!

The Lord builds up Jerusalem;

he gathers the exiles of Israel.

He heals the brokenhearted
and binds up their wounds.

He determines the number of stars
and calls them each by name.

Great is our Lord and mighty in power;
his understanding has no limit.

The Lord sustains the humble
but casts the wicked to the ground.

Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving;

make music to our God on the harp.

He covers the sky with clouds;
he supplies the earth with rain
and makes the grass grow on the hills.
He provides food for the cattle
and for the young ravens when they call.

His pleasure is not in the strength of the horse,
nor his delight in the legs of a man;
the Lord delights in those who fear him,
who put their hope in his unfailing love.

Psalm 147:1-11

Wow. I read this today and I had to share and write. Often we praise God for answered prayers, or when things are going well. We are called to praise Him always, even in suffering. I try to constantly pray/praise, to have a conversation with God as often as possible. This isn't always easy... the world is very distracting. Satan fills us with lies about how much we are lacking, when in reality God provides. With this dissatisfied mindset, we rebel and sin all the more.
This psalm reminded me that we should praise Him constantly, because it is FITTING. 

There are so many reasons to praise and be thankful to God, regardless of circumstances. I am not sure if in this psalm it says "pleasant" referring to praise being pleasant to God, or how it is pleasant to praise. I find it extremely pleasant to praise. It brings me joy to tell God how amazing He is to me, and how thankful I am that He is so loving and powerful. Simply praise Him because He IS GOD. 

He's the God who is faithful to His people and His promises. He's our healer, He's sympathetic to our pain. He is our CREATOR. He invented the concept of stars, and named them all. God is attentive to detail. God maintains the upkeep of the earth. He's not distant, but actively building, gathering, sustaining, supplying, providing, healing, and binding. He is powerful beyond human comprehension. When we acknowledge this, and humble ourselves, subjecting our lives to His will and His purpose, He SUSTAINS us.  The thought of bringing delight to God should be the fuel behind our praise. To express, in humility, that we fear Him and He is in control.  In exchange, we can place our hope in His love, which never fails.

Personally, I have a problem with getting my hopes up. I build expectations. I don't like it when plans change. God is working on me. I have my terrible moments of weakness when frustration gets the best of me. But all this happens because I hoped in something that had the possibility of failure. I had GREAT hopes of spending time with my stepdad on Fathers' Day.  However, my parents will be out of town visiting my stepdad's dad. This I find out today, as in very late Friday night. This deep feeling of frustration returns and I feel like I'm being left out (I was invited to go with them for the whole weekend as of an hour or so ago, I have very important plans tomorrow that I cannot and will not break, lest I join the dark side of plan breakers). All this to say, I get my silly hopes up every holiday, and rarely does anything go according to plan. I need to learn my lesson and put my hopes only in my unfailing Father. In light of what He's done for me, any trouble is momentary and beneficial. Praise should come as natural as breathing.  Your very breath confirms His power.

As for me, I will always have hope. I will praise You more and more. - Psalm 71:14

Let everything that has breath praise the Lord. Praise the Lord. - Psalm 150:6

I Said So

Random stuff that I've said lately...

"Nobody wants to buy a candybar that's half unwrapped. You want one that's sealed up juuuuust for you"
- talking about modesty

"If you had to eat the same meal everyday forever, do you want fast food or gourmet? One takes longer to prepare and is better for you! You have to put in your order, and just be patient while you're hungry. Or you can spoil your meal and go with junk, your choice."
 - talking about dating

"So afraid to hurt someone else, you're setting bear traps instead! Like that won't do any damage when they find it!"
 - talking about lying

"Oh yeah, I really missed out on a great education! Could have majored in cow-tipping, and taken a class on spitting! And learned how to work a fire extinguisher."
 - talking about not going to A&M haha no offense!

that's all I have for the day :)
you stay classy, thanks for stopping by

This Letter Bites

Helena,

It’s no secret you’ve been mouthing off about me, but now it’s my turn. How rude of you to be talking smack about me, considering I’m riiiiight here, in your face. I can hear every word coming out of your mouth. Even blogging about how much this hurts you. Well maybe you should consider the inconvenience you are causing me. Did you stop to think about how much all this moving around would affect me? One day I was just hanging out, well-rooted, and now I just feel out of place! It's eating me up! You need to stop pushing me around like this.  I don't even know where I’m going with this, but the point is: this bites. This really really bites.

I do my best not to grind you about your weird food choices. I do my job, deadgum it!

I don’t know how you can even talk about smiling.  I say you’re the one out of line, not me.

Don't brush this letter off, either.

Sincerely,

Your First Premolar

Smile News

As it turns out, I only have 14 more weeks of Invisalign!!!!!!!!!  Meaning I will be

 DONE WITH BRACES ON SEPTEMBER 20^TH

God willing :) I may need to have very minor surgery to remove the little nerve between my front teeth lol I’ve had it since I was little bitty, and now it may be getting in the way of the final product. The dentist said he’d have to get it with a laser. And I of course asked if he could gas me.  He said he’d numb my mouth with a giant needle instead. Fun...My bottom teeth are all done :) Now I just change the top retainer every 2 weeks, until it’s through.  And no more IPR (which is the awful filing of my teeth that Dr. Davis did to make room)!! Ouchies.


As of today, my teeth are incredibly sore, especially my first premolar. This retainer HURTS!!  I was hoping since I’ve been wearing it since yesterday afternoon and all through the night, that this morning would be gentler. But I was wrong! Advil advil advil, and Lord let it work!

I’m so thankful. I know it’s kinda silly but I’ve wanted braces for years and years, and finally this year God blessed me with enough funds to get them done. And it was invisible on top of that. And they’ll take only 6 months total! Praise God, always :)

And miles to go before I sleep

I was wondering about my mileage for the year and as it turns out... in the year 2011...

I've run 220 miles.

That's a lot!
My goal for the year is to run over 500. I think I've got this in the bag considering my marathon is in November. It may be time to invest in some new shoes. I've been putting mileage on the bikilas for almost a whole year and they're still holding together marvelously. Can't say that about any other shoe I've ever had.
I'm thinking about getting another color... I'm not sure about getting a new model yet. I  bought a women's sprint in pink/peach and it's not very comfortable... I'm afraid to wear it and have it tear up my feet. Maybe I should man up.

I got lazy last week and didn't do much of anything but clean and cook some. I had only logged a Saturday run of 6 miles, a Monday run of 5, and a Saturday run of 7.5 miles... which is kind of sad. I had ALL WEEK Monday through Friday and I had 5 miles to show for it. Lame. Will do better.

Another one of my resolutions was getting invisalign :) And my oh my I already have people telling me they can see a difference! It's only been 12 weeks!! I have a dentist's appointment this week, and I'm praying for no pain as they prepare me for the next 3 retainers.

Overall, my life has been very happy this year. There have been major developments in my relationship with my family and new, strong friendships which are answered prayers. My heart has been healing, and I no longer feel so darn anxious. Having my brother around does help a lot. He's been helping me around the apartment, and keeping me company on the couch. I am proud to say I got my entire family hooked on the Mavericks haha my brother got home yesterday during the 2nd quarter and the first thing he asked me was "is the game on????!!" as he looked toward the tv. My parents and I watched a movie yesterday, X-Men First Class (good!) and they were stoked to inform me they had plans to watch the game! :)
It's been amazing having them around. I don't take it for granted one bit.

You never know what plans God has for my future, whether it's here or somewhere else. I'm praying about direction and opening my heart to whatever He needs me to do. The job I have now is fantastic, but I'm not opposed to the idea of it being yet another stepping stone to something bigger. I've also been prayerfully considering a Masters degree in combination with a specialist program in blood banking.
Click here to see my options in programs. Please be in prayer about my career and location and future.

My lease goes out in October and I have no clue yet what I should do about my living situation. I'm certain God will make it clear to me by then. I know He has great plans, and He will accomplish them. He knows my heart's desires, and what I truly value and want while I'm here. I'll keep praying, and running, and spending time with my loved ones. I'm certain I'll be ready for whatever change God brings my way. I will welcome it with a confident smile, and praise Him.

How to Greet in the Hallway

Working at a hospital, I walk down crowded hallways quite often. The problem here... is that people in Texas are so friendly. They want to ask you HOW ARE YOU as you're walking past each other.
So you say "Fine, how are you?" and then they have already passed by you. Awkward... I thought well that's unfair, there must be better ways to greet than the uncaring "how are you's" to which the answer must always be a rushed "fine." Therefore....


HOW TO GREET IN THE HALLWAY
(you're welcome, btw)

Silent Greetings

The silent nod - great option if you don't know the person, you acknowledge each other and move on.

The smirk nod - friendly, but you may start a conversation with that smirk. Smirk with caution.

The silent wave - just raise one hand up, quickly, nothing too wavy. Best if you walk quickly.

The gangster - throw up that gang sign, G. Or the deuces, my personal favorite. Duckface is optional.

The trekkie - just do it, it's funny.

Spoken Greetings

The factual statement - great way to speak yet control the conversation, just make sure you talk first. Short reply to follow, especially if you walk quickly.

• -Long time no see!
• -My, it's hot outside!
• -There's a lot of people here today!
• -Work work work!

Days of the week - perfect greeting for the workplace, and also great small talk.

• -It is such a Monday!
• -Is it only Tuesday?!
• -Wednesday, halfway!!
• -It's Thursday! Friday's Friday!
• -Friday! Come on, weekend!

Pleasantries & Compliments - go ahead and flatter the other person (only do this if you know them!!)

• -Great to see you!
• -Long time no see!
• -Looking good, so and so!
• -Aw I like that article of clothing!
• -Aw I like your hair today!
• -Don't you look nice?!

The Awkward Narrative - this is where you make a silly voice and describe what it is that you're doing or where you're going.

• -gotta get my grub on! *rubs belly*
• -just walking down the hall.
• -bathroom break!

The Movie Quoter - the perfect greeting. If you're gonna talk, you might as well get a kick out of it.

• -to infinityyy and beyoooond!
• -when in rome!
• -may the force be with you!
• -well hellooooooo!
• -hi ho hi ho it's off to work we go!
• -little rascals hand-under-chin greeting

Mess with them - get silly.

• -sing out loud whatever song is stuck in your head for just a few seconds.
• -swivel your neck and snap, like a musical.
• -shimmy
• -jazz hands!
• -double gun hands with a *pew pew*
• -just point to them and say "Youuuuuuuuuu!!"

In conclusion... there are many many ways to greet someone in the hallway. Do NOT subject them to
"how are you?" :)

Renamed

Let's make this simple and straightforward. I have better names for some of these TV shows.
Let's go to town, shall we?
Regular name..................................................................My New Name/Suggestions

The Bachelor/Bachelorette..............................................Making Out in a Hot Tub
                                                                                       How to get Herpes
                                                                                       "We have a Connection"
                                                                                       Hot & Single, Here's Why!
                                                                                       Babes & Baggage
                                                                                       Sexy Sob Stories
                                                                                       I Can't Believe It's Not Love

So You Think You Can Dance?.......................................They Can Dance, Watch Them Dance
                                                                                                                                                                  
Grey's Anatomy...............................................................Everyone's Anatomy

The Biggest Loser............................................................Stop Eating (mean, sorry!)

Dancing With the Stars.....................................................Guess Who's Learning How to Dance
                                                                                        They Can't Dance, Watch Them Dance
                                                                                        Dancing with Whats Her Face
on a sidenote, they should have a show called Dancing with the Cars, and it's a hydraulics dance off.
moving on.

When Nature Attacks.......................................................Stupid White People (just watch it, you'll see)
                                                                                       
The Secret Life of the American Teenager..........................I'm Pregnant with Your Boyfriend's Baby
                                                                                         Mom, Why Am I Fat? Baby?! What?
                                                                                         Where do Babies Come From? Teens.


Whale Wars.......................................................................I Hate You, Japan
                                                                        Japan? More like JaPAIN, You're Killing All the Whales!



Okay that's all I have for now lol I'm out of ideas. Leave suggestions, by all means. Reality TV is the best.

100 Truths

Oh you know how this goes, I type a whole bunch about myself and put it in a numbered list. Since I'm terrible at 2 truths and a lie, I'll go ahead and stick to the truth :)

1. My name is Helena.
2. Wow this is gonna be easy
3. I got too much sleep last night.
4. I woke up at 4 am wide awake haha weird.
5. Lesson learned! I'm going to bed no earlier than 11.
6. I'm glad May is over.
7. June is a much better month overall, hotter, etc.
8. I assessed my standings with my 2011 resolutions and I'm doing quite well.
9. Getting my hair highlighted this Saturday, tempted to do something different.
10. Nah.
11. Well maybe. hmm putting some red in it is quite tempting.
12. My calves are extremely sore from running at least 1500 bleachers.
13. I counted.
14. *whispers* I count things...
15. My calves are never sore. This is a very strange sensation.
16. My abs are never sore either.
17. I seriously cannot remember the last time my abs were sore.
18. I need a good abs workout, apparently.
19. Maybe something named RAGE or FURY or CALL911MYABSAREONFIRE.
20. I'm sure these are names of fantastic workout regimens on the market.
21. If not, they should be.
22. I like to doodle.
23. I'm terrible at drawing.
24. If I'm drawing with my eyes closed, I'm really not so bad compared to others that have their eyes closed.
25. We did that once as an activity in Bible study, so I know.
26. I used to think that salons tried to rip you off by offering to draw a little flower on your pedicure and charging you 5 bucks for it.
27. Now I'm one of those people that actually ask for the little flower or swirlies.
28. But I refuse to pay for the "fancy" pedicure.
29. I can get mud on my feet for free. I do it all the time.
30. I filled up my car today for $3.45 a gallon, uh huh check it out!
31. I need one of those crazy carwashes that I pay tweens to detail inside my car and it ends up smelling like vanilla.
32. I can't stop laughing at the concept of getting mud on my feet.
33. I laugh at my own jokes all the time.
34. It's pathetic.
35. Even if they were funny, the fact that I laugh so hard about them kills the comedic value.
36. I've been reading a ton. Mostly the Bible.
37. I'm also reading a devotional on purity. It's great.
38. I can chug entire bottles of water, without even blinking.
39. Sometimes I feel like I must be dehydrated, but I know I'm not.
40. I sweat too much.
41. I fidget too much.
42. I have restless leg syndrome.
43. My boss thinks it's hilarious to make fun of my RLS.
44. "look at her, shaking like that, haha"
45. I actually love my boss, he's super funny.
46. I like to make pictures at work, even though I'm really not skilled at it at all.
47. But hey I technically get paid to do it if I do it at work.
48. I am an employed artist. Booyah
49. I found a picture of a sloth and added a mustache and glasses and eyebrows to it, and put my boss's name at the bottom.
50. This picture has been printed out and it is taped up in the lab.
51. Everyone thinks it's funny :)
52. And yes, he is aware of it.
53. He liked it.
54. I'm not sure I can do this!
55. I can do this!
56. I like to make puns.
57. Like... "wow Dirk played SICK!"
58. yeah. that was stupid. but didn't stop me from saying it.
59. multiple times.
60. I still have 40 of these left.
61. I hate needles.
62. I'm really good at sticking people with needles though.
63. But nobody likes needles.
64. Thankfully I don't have to do it too often.
65. If I ever manned up and got a tat, it would be awesome.
66. I always thought it'd be funny if I got a blacklight tattoo of a huge dragon on my back.
67. That's a joke. I'd never do that.
68. I'm really excited to go to the grand canyon.
69. I love to travel.
70. The traveling part may or may not be my favorite, actually.
71. The journey is often more exciting than you think it will be.
72. The destination can be less exciting than you hoped it would be.
73. That's why I like the traveling so much better than the arriving.
74. I want to go to Greece and Italy.
75. The other countries in Europe are okay too, but those 2 stand out for me.
76. People that have really loud inside voices scare me quite a bit.
77. Large grown women should never wear high pigtails. That's about as truthful as it's gonna get!
78. Also, people who talk on the phone while they are in a waiting room should realize that their conversation will be heard. By all. *sigh* #fact
79. I always, always get a discount when I go get an oil change. Coupon or not.
80. I can eat raspberries by the pound. 
81. I wish I was kidding. 
82. I'm the loudest mavs fan ever.
83. I'm probably a rude neighbor...
84. Unless my neighbors are also mavs fans.
85. Why wouldn't they be?! 
86. Then I'm the best neighbor ever.
87. My cat hates it when I scream at the TV.
88. Especially during the Bachelorette...
89. He hides behind the Christmas tree
90. I have a Christmas tree up and it is June.
91. More men would watch The Bachelorette if they named it "Making out in a Hot Tub"... which is all they do.
92. I'm gonna make homemade chocolate chip cookies tonight! om nom nom
93. Everyone should have remote start if you live in Texas. It's AAAMAZING!
94. Getting in the car is like sitting in a volcano during the summer.
95. Then you turn the car on and the vents are blowing hot steam right at you. It'll melt your eyeballs, you gotta close your eyes!
96. But if I use remote start, my car is cooled down by the time I get in it, hallelujah!
97. A truth that brings a tear is so so so much better than a lie that brings a smile.
98. I brush my teeth constantly.
99. It's because I have invisalign! And it's working!!
100. I think my truths are splendid. Truly.

Craving

"The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul.
The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple.
The precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.
The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving like to the eyes.
The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever.
The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether righteous.
They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold;
They are sweeter than honey, than honey from the comb.
By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.

Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults.
Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me.
Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgression.

May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight,
O Lord, my Rock and my Redeemer."
Psalm 19:7-14

"How sweet are your words to my taste, sweeter than honey to my mouth!"
Psalm 119:103

"Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."
Psalm 34:8

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled."
Matthew 5:6

If I have a craving, it's usually for sweets or for something I know isn't "healthy." I have craved salad and veggies and fruits, but those cravings don't consume my thoughts. This morning I was overwhelmed by hunger for God. It felt similar to when I get an urge to go workout. It was a physical need to hear from Him and to grow. I took my Bible to work and I've been reading all morning. I wish this happened everyday. Out of thanksgiving, I cannot stop praising Him. I hope this doesn't fade.

God has been blessing me with answered prayers over and over for about a month.
Accountability, a place to serve, my siblings' finals, and my relationship with my dad.

I've been hanging out with Amanda, who is literally a gift from God in my life. As iron sharpens iron, Amanda and I have been sharpening one another! We hang out and workout, and we now started going through the Bible together. I couldn't help but feel like I was the only early 20's single, employed, Christian girl in Temple that enjoyed running around outside. And I praise God that I was wrong :)

I had been praying for quite some time about a place to serve. Either by cooking or somehow being useful to others, in the name of Jesus. I'm now plugged in and trained to serve at the Body of Christ Community Clinic in Belton, where I'm one of the techs running their little lab. This clinic is free of charge for its low-income patients. I have the opportunity to pray with the patients I come in contact with! I will be running the lab by myself tonight, so do keep me in your prayers.

Having my brother at UT and my "little sisters" at SFA, my prayers have been that God provides them the strength and the perseverance to finish their first year at a big university. And God answered :) still praying about their summer classes!!

For a long time I felt that my dad didn't care. He was all the way in Brazil and we'd talk 3 or 4 times a year. Now as of YESTERDAY we are emailing. Yes, actually back and forth, we're both replying, emailing. I almost cried this morning when I got another email. This is more than I could have ever expected or hoped for. Not just my heart forgiving, but an actual relationship in the works. God has done great healing in my stubborn heart.

So with praise and thanksgiving came a deep hunger. Not for real food, but for the nourishment that only God's presence can provide.