How to Greet in the Hallway

Working at a hospital, I walk down crowded hallways quite often. The problem here... is that people in Texas are so friendly. They want to ask you HOW ARE YOU as you're walking past each other.
So you say "Fine, how are you?" and then they have already passed by you. Awkward... I thought well that's unfair, there must be better ways to greet than the uncaring "how are you's" to which the answer must always be a rushed "fine." Therefore....


HOW TO GREET IN THE HALLWAY
(you're welcome, btw)

Silent Greetings

The silent nod - great option if you don't know the person, you acknowledge each other and move on.

The smirk nod - friendly, but you may start a conversation with that smirk. Smirk with caution.

The silent wave - just raise one hand up, quickly, nothing too wavy. Best if you walk quickly.

The gangster - throw up that gang sign, G. Or the deuces, my personal favorite. Duckface is optional.

The trekkie - just do it, it's funny.

Spoken Greetings

The factual statement - great way to speak yet control the conversation, just make sure you talk first. Short reply to follow, especially if you walk quickly.

• -Long time no see!
• -My, it's hot outside!
• -There's a lot of people here today!
• -Work work work!

Days of the week - perfect greeting for the workplace, and also great small talk.

• -It is such a Monday!
• -Is it only Tuesday?!
• -Wednesday, halfway!!
• -It's Thursday! Friday's Friday!
• -Friday! Come on, weekend!

Pleasantries & Compliments - go ahead and flatter the other person (only do this if you know them!!)

• -Great to see you!
• -Long time no see!
• -Looking good, so and so!
• -Aw I like that article of clothing!
• -Aw I like your hair today!
• -Don't you look nice?!

The Awkward Narrative - this is where you make a silly voice and describe what it is that you're doing or where you're going.

• -gotta get my grub on! *rubs belly*
• -just walking down the hall.
• -bathroom break!

The Movie Quoter - the perfect greeting. If you're gonna talk, you might as well get a kick out of it.

• -to infinityyy and beyoooond!
• -when in rome!
• -may the force be with you!
• -well hellooooooo!
• -hi ho hi ho it's off to work we go!
• -little rascals hand-under-chin greeting

Mess with them - get silly.

• -sing out loud whatever song is stuck in your head for just a few seconds.
• -swivel your neck and snap, like a musical.
• -shimmy
• -jazz hands!
• -double gun hands with a *pew pew*
• -just point to them and say "Youuuuuuuuuu!!"

In conclusion... there are many many ways to greet someone in the hallway. Do NOT subject them to
"how are you?" :)