Who Am I??

It’s been a while I’ve posted on here, so I figured I’d give it a go.

Most of my journey is getting documented in my world race blog, so take note =]

I did say I would try my hardest to keep this blog going, so here’s what I’ve got going on personally.

I don’t even know what day it is anymore. Who am I?

I no longer desire the things I wanted before.

My heart has changed. My mind is new. Transformed. My plan is no longer appealing. Money? House? The marriage I desired isn’t even enough. The kids I wanted and envisioned aren’t the ones God has in mind for me. My expectations have been shattered. Bettered. 

God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. God’s will. 

That’s my new song. My dream. My desire. My banner lifted high.

I trust You. I trust You. I trust You. 

And no, my life isn’t gonna suck. It’ll be like a surprise every day. Here I thought I hated surprises, the same way I hated bananas. Up til now. Up til today. They’re still not my favorite, but I am learning to delight in them. Who am I? I ate a banana today and I enjoyed it. I also admitted that I enjoy surprises. What’s next? Raisins?? Prunes?? Will I no longer panic when I’m being tickled? Who am I?

What’s next? I don’t have to know! I know there’ll be joy. I know I’m taken care of. My heart is thankful. I sing new songs to God. I give Him glory. Keep fixing me and molding me, Lord. I want to be more like You are and less and less like me. Who am I?

I don’t want to recognize myself.

I want to be made new. 

I don’t wanna know who I am. I want to know who You made me to be.

My past is redeemed. I give You my present. My future is Your will. Your will. Your will. 

I died to myself.

Yet I’m more alive than I’ve ever been.

It’s Christ in me. Christ lives in me. He lives. 

He’s alive, and I’m free.

Honor

Greetings, faithful followers!
It is I, again, Helena.
Surprised? I hope not. I'm feeling a bit kooky tonight, hence my random babble. Ahem.
I wanted to write a serious blog about the situaysh here in El Salvador.
It is official that I'm pretty much the translator all the time. My brain doth hurteth from thinking so hard... all the time. I did consider having a jibber jabber day where I just translate nonsensical words, but I figured since I'm constantly translating sermons and testimonies, it wouldn't fly. It would be funny to take a main repetitive word out of the sermon, and just sub it with "pupusa" and see how it goes. "The Lord wants to have a pupusa with you. You don't have to work for this, God loves you and wants you to have a pupusa with Him." ahh sacrilege smackrilege. I realize that in a room full of people, nobody would understand how funny that would be unless they spoke both English AND Spanish... so I'd be laughing alone... as always.

A pupusa, by the way, is a tortilla filled with beans and cheese, and sometimes meat. It is pretty much what is eaten in El Salvador for breakfast and dinner. Funny fact: it is considered crazy and very weird to eat pupusas for LUNCH. They're okay for breakfast and dinner, but lunch? Not a chance. What are we, obsessed with them or something? What message would that send to the children? El Salvador believes in balance and moderation. Pupusas are good for 2/3 meals only.


Another thing I feel special and odd about, which is the original intent of this blog (ahh now I'm gettin' round to it!) is the missionary table.
This thing happens to us, and it's humbling and odd in equal parts.
We are received as special honored guests everywhere we go. We go to preach somewhere, or to do kids ministry, or to share testimonies, and after we do so.... people clear out, chairs get moved and stacked, and out of nowhere 2 tables show up, and we are served a meal right then and there where we were just preaching. Often literally where we were preaching. The meal is prepared especially for us. We are the only ones eating that food while everybody else kinda watches. They pour us beverages and assorted juices (today's juice was cantaloupe, delicious) and serve us either different food (better food) than everyone else gets, or we are the only ones fed, right in the middle of the action.

perfect example... notice the children bystanders

To them it is an HONOR to feed us. An HONOR to host us. They fill us to the brim, then somebody announces they'd like the honor of having us in their home for coffee and cookies. So we go, and sing praise songs in their home and pray over them, and get fed cookies and coffee with so much affection. It's like they see Jesus when they look at us, and they want to bless us as much as possible. God is watching all this, with a huge smile on His face. They get it. They really get it. "Whatever you do unto the least of these, you do unto Me." and they do... they do a lot. They seize the blessing to serve us. 

We had a lady lead us into the woods with a machete, chopping down HUGE wild flowers and giving them to us. She led us through her corn fields and to a place we could swim. She then fed us corn with lime and salt (best new way to eat corn, sorry butter) and gave us little chubby bananas.... which I must admit tasted really really good.

<<sidenote: I hate bananas. I know, I know, how can I call myself Brazilian and hate bananas? That's preposterous... so I took on a challenge: eat a banana in every country, see if I can conquer this tastebud debacle... El Salvador bananas are... gooey but good.>> 


I hope that if I can take anything from this month it is this: what an HONOR to serve those who serve the Lord. To open up a home, to serve a meal, to encourage them. What an HONOR that is to these people, and to God's people. It humbles me every single day. Their kids give us candy. Are you serious?!!! I was raised pretty well, but you couldn't get me to give any candy to strangers. No way, Jose! Even their kiddos know that giving is a blessing to seize. What an HONOR to be in El Salvador, serving them and being served even more.

Little Update

Hey yall :)
Here's a short update on my life!

I'm still in El Salvador!
Thus far I've preached twice, shared bits of my testimony to a church a couple of times, and done some major crazy dancing to amuse the kiddos here. I learned how to make a balloon dog, and I'm excited to attempt more random balloon artistry (insert dry humor here).
I'm finishing Acts tomorrow, and praying about what God wants me to read next.

Be in prayer for me and my heart. I've been feeling more confident with ministry, yet feeling really insecure in my personal life. I honestly wish God would just tell me the plan, but that's not how He works most of the time. Lord knows I gotta work on my patience and just trust Him, and that's exactly what's happening right now. Also pray for me to be more perceptive of my team and their needs.
I praise God for these character-building situations, but prayer is appreciated :)

Love and miss you guys!
Blessings,

Helena